The Adventures of Matt & Ashley

To clean or not to clean

2012-01-18T15:54:00.004-07:00

Life gets crazy, right? I know everyone is different, but if I don't write something down and make a plan, it doesn't happen. For this reason, I created a cleaning schedule. I would say it takes about 40 minutes a day - that seems reasonable. I am always all or nothing. So I either follow this schedule and have a spotless house or I go weeks without cleaning and live in a pig sty. I'm sure my children will grow up confused by this. Hopefully one day I'll find a happy medium, but until then....

I'm back

2012-01-18T15:44:00.002-07:00

So I'm back from my unplanned blogging hiatus. Life just got busy and I just stopped blogging...and I'm sure nobody really missed it. I didn't even miss it, but I've decided to use this blog as a fast and easy way to document my family's life. Novel idea. I know. So, keep an eye out for my posts.

map

2012-01-03T19:18:00.001-07:00

Learn and Play: Wheeler Farm

2011-06-09T12:53:00.002-06:00

Once a week, Parker joins a group of friends to learn something new. It is a "joy school" like group that me and the other moms put together. We rotate weeks to teach the alphabet and go on a field trip once a month. Parker looks forward to it every week...and so do I.

On May 5th, we went on a field trip to Wheeler farm. Parker is so enthusiastic about everything and ran from one animal to the next laughing.

My Beautiful Baby Boy

2011-06-07T13:37:00.010-06:00

1 day old

3 days old

1 month old

2 months old

3 months old

Tommy is now 3 1/2 months. He is growing so fast. He now loves to make all sorts of happy noises, especially if I smile at him. He just started laughing this month. Baby laughter is the most beautiful sound. He has also discovered his hands and how to put them in his mouth. He loves to suck on two fingers at the same time, his index and middle finger. Hasn't figured out the thumb thing yet. He is sleeping through the night most of the time. Sometimes he will sleep around 9 hours at a time. He is so easy going and pleasant and now loves to smile at his Mama. He also thinks his big brother is pretty funny. He has adorable little dimples in his cheeks when he smiles. I've got to get pictures of them. His eyes are changing color. They are turning green with some brown specks. I'm sure he will have hazel eyes like mine. He also has a flat spot on the left side of his head. It was very pronounced last month, but it is rounding out. That is the side he loves to sleep on. All I have to do is rub in between his eyes and down his little nose to put the kid to sleep when it is his nap time. What a great little boy! I love love love my beautiful little Tommy.

Happy Memorial Day & quick update

2011-05-30T08:21:00.003-06:00

A picture I took a few years back at Arlington Cemetery.

Thank you to the military men and women who give of themselves to serve our country.

Hello everyone! I know I've been quite absent from the blogging world. Sometimes it is nice to have a big long break. Especially if that break comes right after having a baby. So here are some things that have been happening in our lives:

I had a baby and he is beautiful and I love him. My boys make me so happy!
Matt and I had birthdays. We are now in our "late twenties." It kinda freaks me out. I have been feeling so old lately.
My sister-in-law, Sarah, had a baby too! Finally, someone in my family who can relate to my stage in life. Little James is perfect and I know him and Tommy will be best friends.
Matt blessed Tommy at church in May. It was nice to have all the family over to celebrate him.
I went back to work to finish the school year. My students did so well at the regional science fair and have flown all over the country to compete in several national and international science fairs.
I quit my job....and then I changed my mind. If that sounds familiar, it is. I did the same thing last year. I just love what I do and I am lucky enough that I work at a school that is so flexible and understanding. I don't think it is possible to find a job that I only have to go into work 6 times a month for only 2 hours each time and do the rest at home through email. It is so rewarding to help mentor my students with their projects.
I watched the biggest loser finale. A-maz-ing!
Matt has been working on the basement like a madman! It should be finished next week!

I have a plethora of pictures to post of all the fun things going on these last couple of months, so keep your eyes open.

Baby Shower

2011-04-14T12:39:00.006-06:00

Last weekend I threw a baby shower for my sisters-in-law Rachel and Sarah. I am so excited for them. They are both expecting their first child this year. Finally Parker will have some cousins and they will be around the same age as Tommy. Around 80 people came, which means I had crazy amounts of food to prepare. I thought it was fun and hope Rachel and Sarah had fun too!

So at first, I got all ambitious and wanted to throw the most beautiful magnificent party ever...and then I came back to reality. I remembered that I have a newborn baby and a small budget. But let me tell ya, if I had never had to sleep and had unlimited amounts of money, it would have been the most marvelous baby shower ever seen by man (and woman). So I cut out the fresh flowers and cute party favors and this is what I ended up with:

The guests of honor, Sarah & Rachel

Food, glorious food

Of course, I had to dedicate an entire table to dessert.

Brownies, chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, and cheesecake!

It takes a long time to bake hundreds of treats!

Guess the baby game.

Can you guess who A is (the first on the bottom row)?

If you said Katie Holmes, you were right!

Great Grandma and Grandpa Budd with Tommy

Thanks to the guests for all the wonderful gifts!

And another picture of Tommy 'cause he's so darn cute!

New arrival!!

2011-03-03T13:06:00.004-07:00

Thomas Alexander was born on February 24th at 2:49 pm. He weighed 8 lbs 6 oz and was 20 inches long. He is perfectly healthy and so am I. It is true what they say. Giving birth the second time around is much easier.

Everything goes faster the second time around. Like twice as fast. At my 36 week appointment, I was already 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced and I progressed every week. Since Parker was pretty big, late, and painful to get out, I decided to set a date to be induced 2 days before my due date which, ironically, was the same day as the science fair which I've been working on all school year.

I never went into labor like everyone predicted I would. I think my body just gets ready soon and does nothing about it until late. February 24th came and I was waiting for a phone call to tell me to come to the hospital. I was 6th on the list and the nurse said it would be around 10:00. I slept in to about 7:30 or 8:00, but couldn't sleep any longer, so I got ready. I couldn't handle just sitting around the house, so I decided to visit the school to see how the set up was going and to get a look at my students' final displays. Everyone at work thought I was crazy for coming in, but I was glad to help out a little right before I was going to abandon them for several weeks. I finally got the phone call and went to the hospital at 10:45. After I checked in, the nurse gave me pitocin (to strengthen the contractions) at 11:30. My doctor was going to break my water, but I decided I wanted the epidural before the contractions started hurting. Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist was busy, so I had to wait to 1:00 to get the epidural and the doctor broke my water around 1:30. That really got the contractions going and I quickly progressed to a 10 by 2:30ish and started pushing. I only had to push through 3 contractions and then another extra push to get him out. The pushed lasted around 15 minutes I would say (I had to push for over 3 hours to have Parker).

Everyone was surprised at how big he was. He was 3 oz heavier than Parker and a .5 in shorter. This surprised me because he was a week earlier. My doctor says I'm just programmed to have big babies. My mom had big babies too. In fact, I (the first) was 2 weeks late and weight 9 lbs. 6 oz. and was born through C section. The rest were all induced and I think that is what I'm going to be doing.

Little Tommy is so sweet. He doesn't cry much and he sleeps pretty well for only being a week old. He has huge feet and some dark hair, but not nearly as much hair as Parker. It will be interesting to see what color his hair will be in the end since Parker's hair color has changed so much.

Parker loves Tommy. He is always giving him kisses and trying to share toys. He calls him Thomas. I think he thinks he was named after Thomas the train. It has been hard for him to adjust to sharing his mommy. He now carries a blanket around and wants me to hold him while he is wrapped in it. He also wants to wear disposable diapers (I'm not using cloth on Tommy yet since he is so small and needs to be changed over 10 times a day) and Parker also doesn't want to wear pants, I guess because Tommy doesn't have pants on a lot. I think he is adjusting and that I am adjusting because at first Parker would cry if he wanted my attention, and say mama, and try to climb on top of me when I was feeding Tommy. Now Parker knows to wait until I'm done and I will give him my full attention. It has been more difficult than I thought it would be for Parker.

I feel so blessed to have these two precious boys. I love being a mom!

Best. Christmas. Ever.

2011-01-12T16:15:00.012-07:00

Wow. Christmas is so much more fun with children. This was the first year Parker understood what was going on and it brought me back to my childhood a little. In fact, I was so excited for Christmas this year that I could sleep Christmas eve. I woke up around 1 am and didn't get back to sleep until around 4. Well, part of that was excitement, the other part was anxiety. I woke up having braxton-hicks contractions every 5 minutes. How terrible would it be to go to the hospital on Christmas eve? It would ruin Christmas. I ate a little something and took a nice warm bath and finally they slowed down after about an hour.

I was a little stressed because my family was all coming over for a big Christmas Breakfast, then we were meeting up with Matt's family to go sledding, and then a big Christmas dinner party that evening with them at my house (not to mention I hosted another Christmas dinner at my house just days earlier). It was a big, busy and wonderful day.

Parker loved all his presents. He is such a spoiled boy, being the only grandchild on both sides of the family.

The breakfast was delicious. I made this french toast, but added homemade orange syrup (recipe from Amanda). There were no leftovers.

Then we took Parker sledding for the first time up Big Cottonwood Canyon. He LOVED it. He also discovered the joy of snowballs. He would pick up a handfull of snow and yell "SNOWBALL!" as he threw the chunk at us. Then Matt decided to go down a bigger hill and snow flew all over poor Parker's little face. Matt tried to take him down that hill again, and Parker just looked back at me with his arm extended and said "mama" as if asking me to save his life. Poor kid is always tortured by his daddy.

Here are some fun Christmassy things we did this year:

Made an advent calendar and counted down 'till Christmas
Went to a live nativity with Grandparents
Went to temple square
Made an ornament to represent our year
Did a service project for those less fortunate
Had french toast for breakfast on Christmas morning
Went sledding
Sat in Santa's lap
Made gingerbread houses
Listened to lots of Christmas music and drank lots of hot cocoa

Top 50 moments of 2010

2011-01-04T10:31:00.009-07:00

This year wasn't as "adventurous" as 2009, but there sure were a lot of changes and things to keep us busy.

1. Helping my students dominate the Salt Lake Valley Science and Engineering Fair
2. Fixing up our condo...just to sell it (Why did we wait so long to finish it?)
3. Selling our condo after living there for 3 years...a great 3 years!
4. Moving in with my parents for 3 months while our house was being built (Where, I might add, there was no room for us)
5. Feeling like my life is in chaos while we live at my parent's house (My clothes were in boxes the entire time)
6. Discovering Parker's talent for singing
7. Learning about the stress and fun involved in have a house built
8. Parker finally getting to go to nursery & LOVING it (& his parents loving it even more than he does)
9. Parker learning how to hit a baseball
10. My sister-in-law Rachel marrying Spencer
11. Going to Youth Conference with the Bluffdale 1st ward as "Goodly Parents"
12. Winning free Bosch kitchen appliances ($7000 value) from the Home Expo
13. Learning that "Sprinkler World" is completely incompetent in designing a sprinkler system AFTER we installed the whole system and then having to redesign it ourselves so it would work. I'm a little bitter.
14. Painting all the doors, trim, and accent wall in our new house
15. Matt graduating with a B.S. in Accounting from the University of Phoenix (and having the student loans to prove it)
16. Quitting my job
17. My brother Casey marrying Sheralee
18. Parker learning his ABCs
19. Finally moving into my brand new house
20. Matt and I running the Ragnar Relay
21. Hydroseeding our yard and watering it a bit too much. Who knew that grass could grow mold?
22. Expecting baby boy #2!!!
23. Unpacking all of our books and office furniture and finding out the next week that I was pregnant and needing to pack it all up again and move it to the basement and needing to move all the baby stuff upstairs into that same room
24. Decorating my new house - work in progress
25. Getting a fancy shmancy smart phone - at least fancy for me.
26. Taking a lot of naps - that first trimester is a killer
27. The principal convincing me to keep my job (under my conditions)
28. Starting to potty train Parker and then getting lazy about it
29. Experiencing the scariest thing in my life when Parker had a seizure
30. Riding in an ambulance for the first time ever
31. Paying a ridiculously large hospital bill for sitting in an emergency room for 20 minutes and a dose of Tylenol
32. Continuing our tradition of sharing a Cafe Rio Pork Salad
33. Taking a 4 day break from life to read the "Hunger Games" series
34. Participating in the first ever "Great Lakes Relay" from the Great Salt Lake to Utah Lake. Our team took 2nd place (out of two teams)!
35. Being called to the Young Women Presidency again
36. Fun vacation visiting Sarah & Eric in Cedar City to see their new house
37. Parker turning 2 and discovering that it isn't terrible at all
38. Matt attending Grad School for his MBA
39. Practicing making the best chocolate chips ever (and gaining a few pounds in the process)
40. Matt becoming superman and starting to finish the basement along with going to school and juggling a busy career (it should be done before the baby comes)
41. Parker discovering Buzz Lightyear
42. Watching "Arrested Development"
43. Taking Parker Trick or Treating for the first time
44. Learning how to make homemade rolls
45. Parker learning how to dunk a basketball
46. Hosting 2 Christmas parties at my house within 2 days of each other -- it almost put me into labor.
47. Matt winning the ugly sweater contest
48. Having Christmas in my new house and making new Christmas traditions
49. Going sledding on Christmas day. Parker LOVED it when snow wasn't flying in his face (thanks daddy)
50. Going home early and going to sleep well before midnight on New Years Eve. I'm getting old...or boring...or both.

Overall, this year was one of change and gratitude. Matt and I are both so grateful for everything we have been blessed with. Here are some things to look forward to in 2011:

Having a baby boy
The basement being finished
Reading more books
Completing P90X and being in the best shape of my life
Matt running a marathon
Getting my PR for a 5K
Lots and Lots of rock climbing
Finishing our yard
Vacationing with our families
Starting a garden
Parker learning how to read
Saving lots of money
Having tons and tons of fun!

Keeping the Romance Alive

2011-01-03T13:15:00.006-07:00

I don't know about you, but sometimes (and by that I mean always) it is hard to think of things to do with Matt without spending a gazillion dollars. That's why I'm so excited that I discovered a new blog called "The Dating Divas." Seriously. They've given me tons of fun date ideas. I personally know two of the "divas" and they are awesome. Plus, this week they have a giveaway every single day. I would encourage you to check it out.

Christmas at my house

2010-12-17T17:31:00.002-07:00

I'm a big boy now!

2010-12-17T17:13:00.004-07:00

Parker keeps life interesting. It is both sad and adorable that he is turning into such a big boy instead of the baby boy he once was.

He LOVES buzz lightyear. He found a little Buzz at my parents' house from when my little brother was small, back to the time of the first Toy Story and he hasn't let go since. He needs Buzz when we go in the car, when we go to church, and when he goes to bed. Funny thing is that he didn't even watch Toy Story when he became attached to the little buzz. When Matt and I showed him the movies, he went crazy. He loves them.

Parker also loves his kitty cat, the one he got for Halloween in 2009 from one of my students. He needs kitty every time he goes to bed. He has gotten so good at make believe. He pretends that the kitty meows and tucks him into bed. So cute!

Parker loves his friends. He especially loves Xander and Brayden - probably because they are boys, but he also loves his friends Sarah, Addi, and Cassidy. He gets so excited when the doorbell rings and immediately stops whatever he is doing and frantically runs to the door and looks out the window. I think he is looking for his friends.

Parker knows practically all his letters and is now learning their sounds. He does still get confused between N and M and some of the lowercase letters. We try not to watch too much TV, but his favorite TV show is Super Why. I think he learns a lot watching it. It is usually on when I am taking a shower. Thank goodness, or else I would probably be a lot smellier than I should be.

He is also learning to count things. He can recite his numbers up to ten really well and is now trying to go to twenty, but he gets stuck in the teens not knowing what is next. He loves 5 little monkey's jumping on the bed. I made little figures of the monkeys and it has really helped him learn how to count objects.

He is so loving and kisses and hugs Matt and I constantly. I know it is far away, but I will be so sad the day he stops kissing me and is too embarrassed to hug me. He will come up to me when I am doing something and ask "Whatcha doin'?" So cute. He also loves his aunts, uncles, and especially Grandpa (papa) and grandma.

He is such a good little boy. One time the nursery leaders came into Sunday school very concerned. They told me that he was crying and they didn't know why. They kept saying, "He never cries." He was just having a bad day because of an ear infection, but it is good to hear how well he does in nursery. He usually just runs into the room right after sacrament meeting. He loves it.

I could go on and on because I want to remember him at this age forever, but maybe I'll save it for my journal rather than bore all of you with the little things I find so cute

Cupcakes!

2010-11-09T09:08:00.004-07:00

I don't claim to be very domestic, but occasionally I like to try my hand at something crafty or try to bake something delicious. Usually, I give myself a hard time that I'm not as good as other wives at sewing or cooking, but I try to remember that I have other great skills and it's ok that I'm still developing others.

I love the book called "Hello, Cupcake!" It has really cute and easy ways to decorate cupcakes....easy enough that I can do it. Here are some of my creations.

This was a cake I made for Casey & Sheralee's wedding

I made these alligator cupcakes for Parker's 1st birthday

I made these ball cupcakes for Parker's 2nd birthday

I made these pumpkin cupcakes for Halloween this year

Potty training

2010-11-06T11:43:00.004-06:00

This is Parker in his new underwear. I wanted to take a picture of him flexing his muscles, but
he just wanted to run in circles. over and over again.
I started getting serious about this potty training thing this weekend. I bought Parker some choo choo train and Buzz Lightyear underwear. The first two days I had moderate success. He only peed his pants once per day and was pretty upset when he did (He didn't wear underwear the whole day. He had a diaper during his nap and at the babysitters). Then today he peed himself 3 times already and it is only noon. I think it is because he was distracted since Daddy is home and Mommy was spending a lot of time cleaning instead of constantly asking him if he needs to go potty. I think I just need to be more diligent with him right now. The biggest problem is that he hasn't gone poo-poo in the potty yet. He goes in his underwear and then tells me about it whe it is too late or I smell it when it is too late. Does anyone have advice for me? Also, how do you transition to underwear when you go out? I don't think he is ready for underwear during naptime and nightime. He is peeing sitting down right now. How do I transition to standing up? ...great he just peed in the kitchen.

Our Story (part 3)

2010-11-03T21:05:00.005-06:00

I was surprised how many people have actually been reading this story. I had a lot of people asking for more. I promise only one more part of the story after this. See Part 1 and Part 2.

We both moved on. I started dating a boy pretty seriously and Matt was a crazy dating machine. We were still civil to each other, but there was no more hanging out. It wasn’t really until after the boy I was dating broke my heart that we began to be friendly again. Since I had been dating him the entire semester, I hadn’t really been spending much time with my other friends and when he left my doorstep that last time I felt alone. I could talk to my friends, but they didn’t really understand me. Not as much as Matt did. In a moment of desperation, I took a long walk and ended up at Matt’s doorstep. I knocked and my heart dropped when he wasn’t home. Still, his roommates delivered the message and he was surprised. He didn’t know how much I’ve always depended on him.
Things started small. I helped him with his homework. We shared stories about unsuccessful dates. I tried to set him up with my roommate. We would walk with each other to certain classes. We started dancing once again. And we would plan trips to the “closet” which, even though it sounds dirty, is actually a small climbing room in the field house. There was one time at the closet that we both remember. No one else was there except us. We played games on the wall and would spot each other when climbing high. I remember the urge to lean over and kiss him, but I quickly threw that silly notion out of my mind, but we both can still remember that tension we felt. The way it was to casually bump into each other or to make a flirtatious comment.
It was that day that I knew something had to change. I remember thinking that If I keep on standing by, I’m going to end up like Julia Roberts on “My Best Friend’s Wedding” except I didn’t have a gay friend who would help me ruin his wedding and comfort me afterward when the plan failed. I already knew I felt jealous of all those girls he talked about. How he asked the cutest girl out in his class. How I knew certain girls in his ward wanted a chance to go on a date with him. I came to terms with it. I needed to date him. Now the question was: how am I going to do that without breaking his heart again?
When I told my friends of my intentions they were all very protective of Matt’s feelings. They knew what damage I had caused before. I knew it too, yet I couldn’t let him pass me by. I couldn’t let him marry somebody else when I felt like he was mine. Every time we were together, I was carefully assessing my feeling. Do I really love him? I didn’t make any moves. I didn’t suggest that we date. I just analyzed what was going on between us.
Winter break came and we both spent a few weeks at home. He called me up one night to ask me on a date. He was invited to join a friend on a group date and it was too last minute to get anyone else, so he decided to try his good ol’ reliable friend. I said yes. It was pretty much the best date ever. I had forgot how easily I could be myself around him. It was a large group of people, but it felt like it was just the two of us. We were making jokes and playing games. I gave him a piggy back ride through the gateway mall and we tried to see who could climb up a ledge at temple square. We must have seemed odd to the other people. I’m sure it seemed like we were in love, yet so many of our conversations were about other potential partners at school. I went home that night knowing that I really did love him and that I wanted to be with him. I forgot how happy I was when I was with him. How happy he made me.

Parker is 2!!!

2010-09-27T15:09:00.005-06:00

Parker is turning 2 this Saturday, but because of General Conference, we had his friend birthday party this past Saturday. It was a sports themed party, obviously. He had 8 friends over, so it got a little crazy, but we had fun.

This is what Parker has been up to lately:

He sings his ABC and recognizes at least 8 letters (E, R, B, H, I, S, O, A).
He can count to ten
He has been going potty an average of 1 time a day
He is loving and gives kisses and hugs freely
He all of a sudden loves taking baths. He wants multiple ones a day.
He loves, loves, loves to sing. His favorites are the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle (which he gets confused between the two songs), Once there was a snowman, and Old McDonald.
He loves watching movies - I wish he didn't. His new favorite is Bolt.
He loves stuffed animals. He sleeps with like 6 every night.
He is starting to get pretty picky about what he eats
He laughs LOUDLY especially at church during sacrament meeting
I can't understand about 80% of what he is saying

For his party, I made a pinata shaped like a baseball. It took way too many hours, and my amazing husband helped me decorate it without even complaining.

Parker is excited about his baseball pinata

Matt, the amazing-pinata-making-dad, helping out at the party

Can't have too many pictures of the pinata, can we?

The kids playing with the new toys. Gosh, I still need to paint my front door.

Parker was really happy about the cupcakes.

He chose a basketball

I love my (not so) little guy!

Our story (part 2)

2010-09-22T15:57:00.004-06:00

I know this is long, and probably boring, but this is how Matt and I met and fell in love, if any of you are interested. I just typed it all out, for some reason, I guess for posterity's sake, but then thought, "maybe I'll put it on my blog." So here it is:

For part 1 read here:

I made it rather difficult since Matt lived in Riverton and I in Logan, but we made it work. Our emails continued, although they took on a noticeably romantic vibe. We were able to see each other quite a bit despite our long separation. We were pretty happy… for a couple of months, but then, just like in high school, I wanted to keep my options open. I liked college and there were a lot of boys there that I found interesting. Of course, now I see how heartless I was, how Matt truly loved me, but at that time, I knew what we had couldn’t last. He was going to leave on his mission and the long-distance thing would be hard to keep up. That and I knew that he loved me and that scared me. Love? He was my first real boyfriend. How could I even know what love was?

So then it happened: the worst mistake of my life. Breaking up was the right decision at the time, but I was not wise, smart, brave, kind or something enough to do it correctly. So what did I do? I ignored him. I mean, not completely, but enough that he didn’t know what the heck was going on. I am truly embarrassed about how I handled the situation and how I hurt him. Of course, as if to make matters worse, Matt was completely above the type of pettiness that I exhibited. He confronted me and through a very emotional conversation, I broke up with him. Despite how cliché it sounded, I said that I still wanted to be friends and I really meant it. Despite how much it hurt him, Matt agreed to it. Who would have thought that “I could have my cake and eat it too,” as the saying goes. I could date other people while keeping Matt in my back pocket just in case. It sure wasn’t enjoyable for Matt, but how could it have been any other way. We needed each other.

I wasn’t heartless. Really. I loved Matt so much, but I wasn’t in love with Matt the same way he was in love with me. It didn’t feel right and I wasn’t ready for that type of relationship anyway. Sorry. I know I don’t need to justify my actions anymore, but I just feel so darn bad about it. A few months later, Matt was about to leave on his mission. I had made arrangements for my friend to drive me down to Riverton to attend a farewell party and listen to his talk. Unfortunately, there was a miscommunication and I was left in my college dorm, helpless. I didn’t have a car to drive and I certainly wasn’t going to walk. So instead I just cried. I wasn’t going to see my best friend for two years and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. My heart ached thinking about how he would feel about our unresolved end. For all he knew, I could be married by the time he came back. At that moment my roommate, Jackie, volunteered to drive me down. She had no reason to make that 3 hour round trip drive that evening. Usually I can’t accept that type of offer, but how could I refuse. Jackie knew the intricacies of our relationship probably better than anyone else. She knew how it important it was. I was late, but I was there. I did attend his farewell party and I did get to say goodbye.

The next two years went by pretty fast for me. I wrote to Matt a few times. He wrote to me a little more than a few times, but once he realized that I wasn’t the letter-writing type, he started to only write when written to. I still get crap for the scarcity of letters I sent out in that two-year period. I didn’t realize it, but he thought about me often. Not in an obsessive, can’t focus kind of way, but he always kept a picture of me – or rather, a poster by his desk. It was supposedly one of those motivational posters with the word “determination” written across the bottom in bold letters followed by some inspirational quote, but the picture was of me rock climbing. A tribute to all our adventures.

I knew Matt should be coming home soon. I was looking forward to it. When the day had come, I nervously took out my phone and dialed his home number. He answered and we spoke a few words. It was a little awkward and he didn’t seem nearly as excited as I imagined he would be. Even though I was silently disappointed, I thought, “Finally, he is over me” and willed myself to be happy about it. It was a bit of a relief. I didn’t need to feel awkward or worry about what I was going to say to him. We went dancing as friends. We went climbing as friends. That’s all we were: friends. Isn’t that what I wanted?

I moved home over the summer, but I didn’t really have many friends at home, except Matt. We started spending a lot of time together. I came over to his house often to use his computer since mine wasn’t working very well. Or was that just an excuse? I don’t recall. I remember that I started to feel a little different about Matt. I would sit a little closer to him. Our conversations got a little more flirtatious. Even though I was aware of this, I pretended like it was nothing. Not a big deal. We’re just really good friends.

We planned a trip to Maple Canyon with some friends. We were going to spend the day climbing and then head watch the Manti Pageant in the evening. We all had a lot of fun despite the rain, and even though I didn’t want to admit it, I was very attracted to Matt as he climbed up the cliffs of Maple Canyon. We went to the Manti Pageant and sat next to each other, wrapped in a blanket and then in one moment, I realized that it had gone too far. He held my hand. That was not in my plan. There was this other guy from college who was coming down to visit me in a couple of weeks, a guy that I had liked for a while and now this. Although surprised and confused, I enjoyed it. I felt good for him to hold my hand in the way that only he can. We camped out that night and I fell asleep to the nagging question, “What should I do?” I continued to not only hold his hand the remainder of the trip, but to continue to enjoy it. I had a speech prepared about how it wouldn’t work, about how Matt still needed to date people, and about how I still wanted to date people too. People that weren’t him. Unfortunately, we never had any privacy the entire weekend.

The next day we were both up in Logan making preparations for the school year and he was my ride home. I knew I couldn’t drag it on like I did the first time I broke his heart, so I tried to be direct. Seeing his heart break was awful, but hearing him say that we could no longer be friends if we weren’t going to be more than friends was more than I could bear. So there we were. In the car crying, knowing that our relationship was now over.

Our story (part 1)

2010-09-21T15:56:00.006-06:00

I remember the moment clearly, but at the time, I didn’t find it particularly significant except perhaps an embarrassing situation barely avoided. I was sitting in health class, a timid girl feeling all alone in a room full of 30-something kids. The teacher called for everyone to get into groups. I always HATED when teachers did this to me. I had two options. I could actually talk to someone I don’t know and invite myself to join their group or just wait it out, hoping someone would notice me and invite me to join their group. I, of course, chose the second. I always did. Talking to people I didn’t know was always too difficult, although I’m not sure why. Pretty much everyone was grouped up, except me, when I almost started to panic. At that moment, the only person I knew – or I should say, recognized – invited me into a group or 4 or 5 boys. The boys were nice and introduced themselves to me and I noticed one, his name was Matt. He had a CTR ring on and was kind. I didn’t feel worried anymore.

As the weeks rolled by, Matt and I became friends. The teacher always left a few minutes at the end of class and Matt would always take that opportunity to talk to me. I knew that he had a little crush on me, but I didn’t think anything of it. At that point, I was almost sixteen which meant I could start dating soon, and I was keeping my options open. There was one boy that had caught my attention. I met him at a dance and had heard through the grapevine that, apparently, I had caught his attention too.

There it was. The phone call I was waiting for. The boy from the dance was asking me on a date. I was not yet sixteen, but by next Friday, when the date was set, I would be. Perfect timing.

I was so nervous. I sat at the piano and played as fast as I could. The tempo matching my heart rate, until “ding dong” and they both stopped. I was nervous to begin with, but fear began to paralyze me when I realized that I didn’t know a single person in the van. Heck, I barely knew my date. Yeah, we danced together a few times and he was a friend of a friend and such, but just like that one moment in health class, I felt alone. Whatever charm I had that night we danced had melted away. It was just me and I was terrified. Why? I’m not sure. I liked him a lot and wanted to leave a good impression, so, of course, I do the exact opposite. It’s not that we had much opportunity to talk since we just went to a movie, but even the time before and after the movie, I was pretty much mute. So that was that. My friend confirmed what I already knew. He wasn’t interested anymore. Who would be interested in a boring girl, a girl like me.

My next date couldn’t have been more contrasting. Matt, of course, took the opportunity to ask me on a date. We went swing dancing at the MAC. I had so much fun. It surprised me. I thought I was doomed to be that boring girl from a few weeks ago. The one who, no matter how hard she tried, could not think of one interesting or charming thing to say. Well, I was a different girl tonight. Matt made sure I was comfortable and that each moment was enjoyable. See, I wasn’t boring. Matt didn’t think so.

As our high school career continued, Matt and I became even better friends. Even though I was vaguely aware that Matt had some attraction to me, I didn’t think that it was anything more than that. I didn’t realized how hurtful it was when I would date one of his best friends or when I would talk to him about boys that I liked. In fact, most of the time, I took his loyalty and kindness for granted.

It wasn’t until after we graduated that I truly appreciated the type of friendship we had. We could talk about anything. He was the one person who understood me. We would take any situation we were in and turn it into a fun adventure. The summer after graduation was mostly like a dream. We would start out in groups, hanging out. We learned how to rock climb. We would go on a hike. Slowly the group faded away until it was just the two of us. Some days, we would spend the whole day together, doing some sort of marathon activity like hike then rock climb then go biking and then go dancing until the day was done. I was surprised that even though we spent so many hours together, we never ran out of things to say. But still, we were friends, best friends, but only friends.

When I went away to college, I felt alone once again. I knew people from high school and my roommates really were nice, but I needed someone else. I needed Matt. We would email each other every day. Every single day. Sometimes more. We kept them lighthearted and silly, but every single chance I got, I was on that computer checking my email. I counted down the days until I could see him again. One time, when I went home, we planned a great adventure. We went rock climbing up Big Cottonwood Canyon at a place called “The Slips.” There we did a 2-pitch climb for the first time. It was easy, but the reward was at the top. Instead of going up and down a cliff, we went up and then up again, until we were at the very top of the cliff, just the two of us. It was beautiful seeing the canyon this way. We sat next to each other in a little nook and both of us felt it, but neither of us did anything about it. We just sat in silence- having nothing to say for the first time. I was suspicious before, but now I knew that I needed Matt to be more than a friend. We went out to eat covered in climbing chalk, feeling like we were cool even though we probably just looked silly. Then we went to a movie. I thought “this is it” and it was. It was the end of our friendship as we knew it, but the beginning of something new.

...

to be continued

February 26th!!

2010-09-14T16:14:00.004-06:00

That's right, mark your calendars. Matt, Parker, and I are expecting baby #2 on February 26th! We are all very excited. Parker adores babies and I know he will be a great big brother. It is perfect timing because we have just moved into our house which we love.

I'm 16 weeks along and doing well. I haven't had much morning sickness. In fact, much of the time I was worried because I wasn't sick at all and morning sickness is a sign of a normal pregnancy. I was, however, super-duper tired. That is probably why you haven't heard from me much in the last little bit. I am feeling better now and I can't wait for my new little one to arrive!

In other news, I'm teaching again this year and I haven't told my students about my pregnancy yet. I guess I'm a little scared because my due date is 2 days after the science fair and they may feel like I won't be there to help them. But, I'm sure there are rumors flying. Either "Ms. Budd is pregnant" or "Ms. Budd has put on some weight!"

Good intentions?

2010-06-28T11:58:00.001-06:00

I was going to do yoga during Parker's nap. Instead, I ate two pieces of cake.

Life Update

2010-06-14T13:51:00.005-06:00

We have been landscaping our yard for the last couple of weekends. I am completely sick of picking up rocks.
We should be able to close on our house this Wednesday!! and move in Thursday!!!!!!!!

{This is the most current pic I have of the house, but it is done now!}

Matt and I just got back from a rained out Youth Conference. We were the goodly parents of 9 teenagers. If you thought it was cold last weekend in the Salt Lake valley, it was really cold up in the Uintahs.
For the three months we lived in the Bluffdale First Ward, we were both called to be on the activities committee, substitute primary teachers, and asked to go to Youth Conference. Plus, as a parting gift, they asked us to speak in sacrament meeting last Sunday. I don't know why they decided to pick on us...Maybe because my dad is the ward clerk...perhaps he had something to do with it.
Matt and I are running the Ragnar Wasatch Back this weekend. A team of 12 runs from Logan to Park City (188 miles).

Matt

Matt just graduated from the University of Phoenix with his bachelor degree in Accounting. Yay!!
He was accepted to the Weber State MBA program and will be starting this fall.
Matt is training for the Ragnar relay race. Matt will be running three legs that equal 18 miles. And he will be doing it in these bad boys:

{these are not Matt's feet, but they are his funny-looking shoes}

Ashley

I finished up the school year with AMES and I'm not sure what I'll be doing next year.
I've gained 7 lbs living at my parents house. Good thing I'm moving this week.
I decided last minute to join Matt's Ragnar team. I will be running a total of 13 miles as runner #4 (hopefully I don't die mid-stride). I haven't run much since the Marathon in September. In fact, I will only have 1 1/2 weeks of training for this weekend. Fortunately, it is one of the easiest legs.

Parker

Basketball was so last month. Now, it's all about baseball.
Parker LOVES to sing. He sings Hallelujah, ABCs, and his very first original song. It goes like this: mama (high), dada (low), mama (high), dada (low)
He love the alphabet almost as much as he loves sports. Every time we drive anywhere and he sees building signs, he starts pointing at the letters and saying "A, O, B.." http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo

A New Addition

2010-06-02T21:48:00.004-06:00

This must be the year of love because there is another marriage in my family. Not only is my brother Casey engaged, but my sister-in-law Rachel just got married! Her new husband, Spencer, is great. She deserves to be treated well and Spencer is just the guy to get that job done. Welcome to the family Spencer!

They let me take their pictures, so be sure to check them out at photography-by-ashley.blogspot.com and let me know what you think. I love feedback.

Singing Hallelujah

2010-05-19T21:18:00.003-06:00

Parker has been really trying to immitate words lately. He was sort of a late bloomer when it came to talking. He was more interested in balls. Fittingly, his first word was ball. Later came his first sentence "it's a ball." Here he started saying hallejulah when we were watching a youtube video of american idol.

It's funny how this will probably mean nothing to anyone else, but as his mom I think it is the most adorable thing ever.

Oh, and my little sister was the camera-woman. She needs a little practice.

Casey is finally engaged!!

2010-05-14T06:37:00.004-06:00

My brother has been dating a wonderful girl named Sheralee. She is perfect for him. Sheralee is kind, talented, and spiritual...and she rock climbs. So obviously, a perfect match. They are going to get married July 30th and I'm so excited. Sheralee, welcome to the family!

They let me take some picture of them. Check it out at photography-by-ashley.blogspot.com. I have a lot more time now that school is almost out and I've been doing a lot of photography. Let me know if you are interested.

Inspiration for today

2010-05-05T12:09:00.003-06:00

What an inspiration! Any complaint that I've ever had in life seems silly compared to the hardships that Stephanie has and continues to endure day to day.

I love how she said that motherhood and beauty are the same thing. I think, as a woman, I always want to be beautiful. I spend time, money, and energy trying my best to fit the world's definition of beauty and I'm never really satisfied. There is always something I would change about myself if I could, but when I look into Parker's eyes and when I feel his kisses I feel more beauty than any amount of money could buy or any amount of time could produce. I spend way too much time thinking of ways to improve myself, never quite living up to my expectations, but when I tickle Parker and hear his infectious laugh I don't think of inadequacies. I think about how blessed I am. I think about love. I think that is why motherhood is synonymous with beauty. Nothing is more beautiful.

Does anyone want a new kitchen?

2010-04-30T13:21:00.004-06:00

Seriously. Does anyone want a kitchen interior design package? It is worth $5000 and includes 4 sessions with the designer, design board showing all customer selected materials, lighting plan, cabinet and counter top plan, and color & material sheets to give to subcontractors to bid. Let me know! Keep in mind that this prize is only for the design plan and consultations. You would need to purchase the materials and have them installed yourself.

So I won this $12,000 Kitchen remodeling package which includes $7,000 in Bosch kitchen appliances and the $5,000 design package, but I, unfortunately, won't be able to use the design package since I have just picked out the colors and everything for my kitchen. I can't really do much more without going out of my budget...but it would be a shame for this prize to go to waste. Any takers?

Wow, I can't believe I actually won something. More on that story later.

Prisencolinensinainciusol

2010-04-26T10:42:00.003-06:00

Go ahead and listen to this song and see if you can figure out what they're saying.

From what I understand, this song was written and sung by an italian singer to sound like english. But it is gibberish. It's sort of trippy because it seems like I should be able to understand it, but then I can't. It's a funny song, but I really kinda like it. Very catchy.

Oll Raigth!

My husband is hot

2010-04-16T09:56:00.005-06:00

Matt and I were pretty good friends in high school, but we weren't best friends unil the summer afterward. That is when we learned how to rock climb. We weren't very good, but we had a lot of fun. So really, it was rock climbing that brought us together. In fact, he even proposed near one of his favorite climbs. Awe, how sweet.

As the years rolled by, we continued to climb and we improved a little, but it wasn't until Kateka's Biggest Loser Challenge last year, that Matt really got obsessed with the sport (Thanks Kateka!). He lost over 30 lbs and apparently that makes it a lot easier to climb.

So this is a video of Matt climbing Banana Dance 5.11d in St. George last month. I'm really proud of him!

In honor of this obsession and his new ability to climb really, really hard stuff, Matt has started a blog about (what else?) rock climbing. See redpointmatt.blogspot.com. It is under construction, so if you are really interested, come back later.

So, what exactly are you advertising?

2010-04-15T13:05:00.005-06:00

I have an issue with this product. I'm not against its purpose. If you want to have artificially high hair, that's fine with me. But whenever I see this box in the check-out aisle at Walmart, I can't help but notice the name. Bumpits. Does anyone besides me always read it Bum Pits? I'm not exactly sure what a Bum Pit is, but I don't want anything to do with it.

Hey, I'm still alive in case you were wondering

2010-04-13T21:26:00.007-06:00

So, yeah. I'm a failure at blogging. It's ok. I've accepted this. In fact, probably nobody is even going to read this because they forgot I exist since I haven't blogged in, like, forever. Well, just to set the record straight, I do still exist.

"So what has been going on in the last few months?" you ask. Or I'll ask myself since nobody will be reading this. The short answer is "a lot," but I was never good at short answers so...

Well, I've been working a lot unfortunately. Remember, I teach a class on Scientific Research at AMES high school. Honestly I love it. I help high school students with their science fair projects. So around the school science fair date I started doubling my hours and every week it got worse and worse. I worked more than 40 hours one week, which I guess is no big deal except I'm really supposed to be a full-time mom who teaches as a hobby. Poor Parker lost his mom. Sad. I probably won't work there next year even though I love teaching. Sad again. (side note: We had 17 projects entered into the regional fair. All except 2 placed in their category. One of the projects "The effect of localization on the stability of DNA duplexes..." is going to the international science fair! It was way over my head.)

This is a small section of the Salt Lake Valley Science and Engineering Fair at the Rice Eccles Stadium.

I wanted to post a picture of some of my students, but then I thought that would be a little creepy. "Hey, did

you hear? Mrs. Budd posted a picture of me on her blog. Sick."

Next big news: We're building a house!!! We sold our condo in West Valley and are building a house on the other side of West Valley. I know what you are thinking. West Valley? But honestly I have always felt safe there and I love being surrounding by such great diversity. I felt like Matt and I were service missionaries in our last ward. Now our new location isn't so inner-city. We are on a quarter-acre lot in a cul-de-sac in the middle of a nice brand new neighborhood just a couple of houses down from a large park which is connected to miles of a paved park trail system. I'm really excited. It should be done mid-june or so (who knows with this crappy weather).

Parker has grown up. He is no longer a baby. Now he thinks he is such a big boy.

He loves basketball. "Loves" is too weak of a word. He is OBSESSED with basketball. Yeah, he is only 18 months, but he loves shooting basketballs, watching basketball, and just walking next to basketball hoops. It is little weird, but extremely cute. Vids to come.

50 special moments in 2009

2009-12-30T14:29:00.009-07:00

Running my first 5K and almost dying in the process
Parker being pretty much the chubbiest baby I've ever seen
Parker learning to crawl
Successfully implementing cloth diapers
Lots and lots of running
Still not having all our doors properly installed in our home (we've lived here 3 years)
Going to the zoo with Parker. He didn't care too much, but I had fun.
Matt losing 36 lbs in 13 weeks and winning the title of biggest loser
"Vacationing" at the Grand Canyon and by vacationing I mean "boot camp"
Sharing a pork salad at cafe rio. . . a lot (did you know they give you a free "kid's quesadilla?)
Still being just as in love as the day we got married (actually, more in love)
Taking Parker up in the mountain often, and exposing him to climbing early
Did I mention I ran a lot?
Taking Parker swimming for the first time. He didn't like it at first.
Running my first half marathon in 2:05 at Bear Lake and NOT almost dying from it. Best Race Ever.
Matt redpointing his first 5.12
Going to the Temple almost but not quite once a month (maybe more like every 2 months)
Even more rock climbing
Piano students stealing Matt's ipod...and my favorite piano book. grrrr
Hanging with Matt's family in St. George
Redpointing a 5.9
Parker pointing at everything. Literally everything.
Doing a little photography on the side
Matt's promotion to Senior Accountant even though he doesn't have his degree yet (coming this May!)
Singing a song I wrote to the Young Women while playing the guitar. Scary.
Climbing with my best friend to the top of the Grand Teton and almost dying in the process
Reaching the car after we finished the Grand Teton
Attempting to "go organic"... ok, it's a small attempt, but I'm still working on it
Accepting a new job to teach the science fair class at AMES
Wishing I hadn't accepted a new job to teach the science fair class at AMES (even though I like it... most of the time)
Getting the biggest kisses from my little boy
Crossing the finish line at the top of Utah Marathon and almost dying in the process
Parker learning to walk (0r wobble. However you want to look at it.)
Parker turning 1 and having his first birthday party with family and friends (what a popular little guy)
Sewing my Halloween costume and having the cutest Toy Story family ever
Being called as the Young Women President just when I thought my life was busy enough
Matt being called, the very next week, to be the Executive Secretary even though his life is busier than mine
Parker swallowing my wedding ring
The very next week, Parker swells up like a balloon because of a peanut allergy
Matt learning and implementing the concept of "barefoot running"
Dancing in the kitchen with the cutest kid I know
Giving up on cooking dinner for practically the whole month of december
Parker learning to talk "ba ba ba ba..."
Matt achieving "Employee of the Year" for the accounting department
Parker's fear of action figures
Having the opportunity to participate in the "Sub for Santa" for our ward and feeling the gratitude of others
Matt's first bouldering competition and taking 5th in his division
Giving Parker tons of gifts for Christmas and him loving the cheap "hit the ball with a hammer" one I got from walmart for, like, 10 bucks
Watching Movies in "The New Room"
Continuing to live "happily ever after" one day at a time

Must Read

2009-12-16T21:42:00.004-07:00

Please read this article about Stephanie Nielson who survived a plane crash. She is so inspirational. I first learned about her by reading her blog.

She inspires me to focus on my most important role in this life, which is motherhood. I have a tendency to try to be everything to everybody. I also hate mediocrity, so I try to be the best at everything, which I've learned from experience, is impossible. The more things I try to do, the more mediocre I become at all of them. "Jack of all trades, but master of none."

When I read her blog, I don't care about anything else except for my role as a mother and a wife. When everything is said and done, it doesn't matter how many cool things I have done. When I leave this life, all I will have with my on the other side is my family. So I better do good job of taking care of my family. I love my son and husband so much. They are everything to me.

Sometimes my brain doesn't work

2009-12-15T11:04:00.003-07:00

This is for you, Tamara...

So I was pretty stressed out last Sunday. It was "Young Women in Excellence" and I just happen to be the Young Women's President. Fortunately I have great councilors, advisors, and a great secretary. But, nonetheless, I get super stressed about things like this. In fact, all I could dream about the night before the event was about how everything would go wrong. I was tossing and turning, probably muttering things like "Oh, no. We forgot 'Integrity.'"

So one of the things I was in charge of making was tags for each of the values. I tried to make them really cute by gluing the name of the value onto a pretty rectangle of glittery, rainbow scrapbook paper and then gluing that onto a white piece of cardstock folded in half. My husband was laughing at me while I was meticulously cutting and gluing. I'm sure he was thinking something like, "If men were in charge of this, they would just scribble the words on a piece of lined paper, rip it out the notebook and fold it in half so it would sort of stand up."

At the time, I didn't think much of it, but some reason, the paper didn't stick very well.

I went to the church early and started setting up with my whole young women posse and I put the tags out. My secretary, Tamara, mentioned that we needed glue because some of the names were falling off. I get all proud of myself, for being prepared, and pulled out the gluestick. Tamara takes one look at it and starts laughing. "That's chapstick!"

Yes, I tried to glue paper together using chapstick. It worked surprisingly better than you think it would.

Besides the whole using lip moisturizer as an adhesive, the event went really well. Even though I get stressed out because of my responsibilities as the Young Women's President, I am grateful for the opportunity to serve. I was so proud of all of the young women.

Jung-Myers-Briggs Personality Type

2009-12-05T10:55:00.006-07:00

I love a good personality test. Who doesn't? I think all of us like to be validated.

I recently took the Jung-Myers-Briggs Test. There are 16 possible personality types based on 4 factors:

Introverted or Extroverted (I or E)
Sensing or iNtuitive (S or N)
Feeling or Thinking (F or T)
Judging or Perception (J or P)

I'm curious as to what all of you are! Please take the test and let me know:

Personality test based on Jung - Myers-Briggs typology

I'm an INTJ or "mastermind." That's right. A mastermind. So what do I want to do tonight, you ask? The same thing I do every night, Pinky -- Try to take over the world!

I was very surprised to read the description and to see how closely it resembles me. Kinda creepy. If any of you want a glimpse into my psyche, read on:

"INTJs are analytical. Like INTPs, they are most comfortable working alone and tend to be less sociable than other types. Nevertheless, INTJs are prepared to lead if no one else seems up to the task, or if they see a major weakness in the current leadership. They tend to be pragmatic, logical, and creative. They have a low tolerance for spin or rampant emotionalism. They are not generally susceptible to catchphrases and do not recognize authority based on tradition, rank, or title.

Hallmarks of the INTJ include independence of thought and a desire for efficiency. They work best when given autonomy and creative freedom. They harbor an innate desire to express themselves by conceptualizing their own intellectual designs. They have a talent for analyzing and formulating complex theories. INTJs are generally well-suited for occupations within academia, research, management, engineering, and law. They are often acutely aware of their own knowledge and abilities—as well as their limitations and what they don't know (a quality that tends to distinguish them from INTPs). INTJs thus develop a strong confidence in their ability and talents, making them natural leaders.

In forming relationships INTJs tend to seek out others with similar character traits and ideologies. Agreement on theoretical concepts is an important aspect of their relationships. By nature INTJs can be demanding in their expectations, and they approach relationships in a rational manner. As a result INTJs may not always respond to a spontaneous infatuation but wait for a mate who better fits their set criteria. They tend to be stable, reliable, and dedicated. Harmony in relationships and home life tends to be extremely important to them. They generally withhold strong emotion and do not like to waste time with what they consider irrational social rituals. This may cause non-INTJs to perceive them as distant and reserved. Nevertheless, INTJs are usually very loyal partners who are prepared to commit substantial energy and time into a relationship to make it work."

(wikipedia, entry "INTJ")

One thing about myself that has always bothered me is that I am "distant and reserved" as wikipedia states. Maybe I should just accept that this is me instead of always, painfully and unsuccessfully, trying to change it.

Some notable INTJs are Warren Buffet, Jane Austen, Caesar, Thomas Jefferson, Steven Hawking, C. S. Lewis, Plato and Issac Newton. Oh, and Arnold Schwartzenegger which I'm sure you can see the similarities :)

Matt, on the other hand is an ENTJ. We pretty much the same except Matt is extroverted and I'm introverted. His profile is so "right on" that it is scary. It mentions being good at business, which he is, having energy, which he definitely does, and a desire to create efficient systems, which is half of what Matt talks about.

So I really am interested: What are you? Do you find it accurate? Take the test!

Hasta la vista, baby!

Action figure Phobia

2009-12-01T10:08:00.006-07:00

I have no idea why, but Parker has developed this fear of action figures. I mean, he is seriously freaked out when he sees those things. We have this little GI Joe we found doing some geocaching some time ago. It was just sitting on my desk minding its own business. Parker spots it and starts pointing (as he always does) at it. Matt thought, "Oh, he wants to play with it." But Parker was thinking, "What in the crap is that freaky thing!!" Matt, being the good father he is, went and got it for Parker and Parker flipped out. He started shaking in fear. Literally shaking!

It doesn't stop there. Parker also had a melt down at Old Navy. The culprit: Scary friendly-looking mannequins. His Aunt Rachel was introducing him to these giant-sized action figures and he started crying! When ever he sees an action figure, he will look away from it and hold me as tightly as possible.

I know I must be a bad mom, but I find this hilarious.

Well, some time has past and Parker has made amends with the GI Joe. They're friends now. Next stop: Old Navy.

In honor of New Moon

2009-11-23T21:11:00.006-07:00

I think the whole "Twilight" phenomenon is a little funny. Why are all these adult women obsessed with a make-believe, overly-dramatic relationship between some clumsy, needy girl and a vampire? That being said, I couldn't put the books down and read all of them within a month...but I'm not obsessed. I just need to clarify that.

Nothing like a good SNL parody.

Even though I'm not really one to stand in a line for an hour waiting to watch the movie, I am looking forward to seeing "New Moon." (I hear it is a lot better than Twilight which I wasn't completely impressed with.) I have had lots of friends who have seen it already and have told me about the inevitable girly screaming that happens whenever Jacob takes his shirt off. I completely understand. I mean, look at him... But I thought it was funny when my sister-in-law brought up the idea of adult men whistling at a 17 year old girl coming onto the screen in a bikini. A little disturbing......But what's wrong with a complete double standard anyway?

Here's a hot picture of Jacob, in case you don't know what I'm talking about.
I feel kinda naughty for even posting a picture of a guy without a shirt. That's why I made it small. Somehow, it is less naughty this way.

Treasure Hunt

2009-11-18T21:24:00.003-07:00

I know some of you have been dying to hear this story since I gave a little teaser of it in my Halloween post. Lets see...where to start....

Parker and I were hanging out on my bed because he was as little sick and I was a little tired, so I broke my rule (as I occasionally do) and we were watching cartoons. (My favorite, by the way, is Super Why. It is repetitive and predictable, but the characters are so darn cute.)

Parker always wants to get into things that he shouldn't and at this point he was going for the lamp on my nightstand. He has the weird fascination with lights. Whenever one turns on, he freaks out and points as hard as he can. When he starts to cry, sometimes I carry him over to a light switch and let him turn on the lights. He is happy in no time. No joke. Ok, Back to the story: He crawls over to my messy, messy nightstand and he successfully attempts to get into everything. I literally pull him back to the center of the bed and I notice he grabbed the lid from my deodorant (I have everything but the kitchen sink on my nightstand). "Meh," I think and I let him play with it.

When Parker is really tired or sick he sort of just collapses into a lump of chubby goodness. He was in his collapsing mode so I layed him down in the center of the bed. The next thing I know, he was choking. It was possibly the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. I didn't know what he was choking on, but he would go a little without breathing while he was gagging and it would then be interrupted by short bouts of crying hysterics. I was glad when he cried because I at least knew he could breath. Some more gagging, then some more crying, a bit of praying on my part and then a few gulps to finish it off.

I realized he had swallowed something, but I had no idea what...sure my nightstand was covered with catalogs, hair accessories, pens, pencils, markers, pretty much any type of writing utensil, deodorant, candles, etc. etc. but surely there was nothing chokable there. Then I looked around and I thought, "uh, oh." I looked at my finger, looked back at the nightstand and realized that my wedding ring was not where I last put it. Crap. That can't be good. I searched and searched, but to no avail. "It must be in Parker's stomach."

I called the doctor's office and told them the situation. After a little chuckle, the nurse asked,"Are you serious?" Yes, unfortunately I was. They fit me in as soon as possible and we got an X-ray that confirmed my suspicion. After the doctor looked at the X-ray, he asked me, "Does your ring have several diamonds along the band?" You could see the ring perfectly, sitting in his little stomach just below his tiny ribs. "Just check the poop." That's the only advice his doctor gave me.

The next day we put Parker's lovely poops in a Ziploc bag. I gave it one squish and found my beautiful ring covered in feces. Matt, for some reason, volunteered to get it out of the bag-o-fun. He really is the best husband. I scrubbed it a little, ok, a lot, and now good as new. Actually just the week before I was commenting about how I needed to clean my ring. I procrastinated. Well, I definitely had a reason to clean it now.

I apologize to anyone who received the picture text from Matt of the Poop Bag with the ring. No one should have to see that.

PS The picture is not Parker's X-ray. It is of an adult. I'm going to try and get a copy of the actual X-ray.

Healthy and Happy

2009-11-17T08:04:00.006-07:00

What more can you ask for than health and happiness?

I love listening/reading about how Utah compares in various categories. One of the more recent studies concluded that Utah is the happiest state. They interviewed 355,000 people to make this conclusion and it was based on a variety of factors life satisfaction, work quality, healthy behavior, physical health, emotional health, and basic access to necessities like food and shelter. Some contribute this Utah's low unemployment rate which is 4.6% compared to the national rate of 7.6%.

In addition to being the happiest state, Utah is also considered the 2nd healthiest state by another recent study. I know that I've heard the whole "fat mormon" stereotype, but it simply isn't true. In fact, Utah ranks 8th lowest in obesity rates and lowest in childhood obesity rates. Another important contributing factor, believe it or not, is our location by the mountains. It follows the trend that mountain states are more health than states without mountains (in general).

I can't really say that Utah is both healthy and happy because of the large percentage of LDS people living here, but I believe it is a contributing factor. The fact that the LDS church discourages smoking and drinking and encourages its members to have a healthy body makes a huge difference in the lives of many people, leaving them to live healthier, happier lives. "By their fruits, ye shall know them."

Read here for my past post on the past US census (which also, undoubtedly, contributes to the happiness of the people in this state.)

My secret to happiness...

2009-11-15T21:24:00.005-07:00

...Is my family. I love my husband and my son. My mom and dad, brothers and sister rock too. I'm also grateful my in-laws aren't too crazy. They have been so accepting of me and loving. I love my family!!

I am the luckiest.

Masochistic Ambition

2009-11-11T11:17:00.006-07:00

One day I decided that I could run a marathon, 26.2 miles. "People do it all the time. Why can't I?" Training for a marathon was pretty much the way I guaranteed that I would lose the baby weight I put on with Parker. At first, about 2 months after I had Parker, I couldn't even run a mile. What was 25.2 more miles? Yeah, it was that bad.

I planned on doing the Top of Utah marathon in Logan, UT. I went to college in Logan and it is sort of my second home. I loved the idea of running through the canyons, watching the colorful leaves fall from trees, the autumn breeze in my face, smiling intensely as I crossed the finish line. Of course, in all my imagining I forgot to add in the pain I would feel in my toes, my legs, my butt, well, just about everywhere.

So I trained and I felt pretty good about it. I ran the Bear Lake half marathon (13.1 miles) in 2 hrs. and 5 min. and felt great afterward. I thought, hey I can run a marathon at the same pace, maybe a little faster, and get in around 4 hours. Ha ha. I didn't realize that running a full marathon is completely different than running a half.

I actually slacked on my training. I got sick. I took a couple of weeks off from climbing the grand teton. Things came up and I didn't make it my priority. Oops. Who'd have thought I'd regret that?

So September 2009 came and I ran the Top of Utah with my mom and younger brother. I really enjoyed the first half of it. I was running it at my half marathon pace, but the second half...I didn't like so much. I started thinking that forcing people to run farther and farther would be a really effective method of torture.

Daddy was taking care of Parker. Hence the lack of shoes and sitting in the dirt.

Parker and Matt at Mile 15. It was so good to see them.

But I finished.

Going strong at the finish line. Or at least trying to.

I came in at 4 hours and 47 minutes. Not such a great time. It is about an 11 min/mile pace. Remember my goal was a 9 min/mile pace. But I finished.

Mom, Me, & Cameron. We look good for just torturing ourselves.

It is so hard for me to be proud of myself because I really did not make my goal..even close to it. I guess I'll have to do another one. Maybe it will help me get into shape after baby #2.

Happy Birthday Baby

2009-11-09T09:10:00.007-07:00

My little baby is growing up. Parker turned one year old on October 3, 2009. Yes, I know it is cliche, but they grow up so fast.

Parker was spoiled with two birthday parties on his big day with a jungle theme. I took my hand at cake decorating and made this alligator cupcake cake. Fearsome, I know.

The first party was in the park with his neighborhood friends. I had this great idea to have the kids go "fishing" for tub toys using magnets, but the toys were too heavy so it didn't work as perfectly as I had imagined. But the kids still had fun playing in the water and on the playground and Parker got some sweet gifts. Thanks friends!

Later that evening we had hamburgers with the family at Grandpa and Grandma's house. Parker was super spoiled by everyone's attention and took this opportunity to show off his new skill of walking. I love watching him waddle everywhere. Such a cutie!

He was a little frightened when the lights were turned off and everyone surrounded him singing in unison while an open flame sat in front of him. Fortunately, he forgot all about it once he started eating his cake.

Kelli reminded me to share his stats. Despite his chubby cheeks, Parker is a little guy. At 12 months he weighed 21 lbs. 13 oz (33%) and is 29 in (20%). But he has a big head compared to the rest of him at 47 cm (66%). He has slimmed up a lot since he was 2 months at the 95 %tile for both height and weight, but he is adorable either way.

Photography Blog

2009-11-06T12:27:00.004-07:00

In keeping with my theme for the week "Updating the Blog," I have also (finally) updated my photography blog with some sweet pictures of the Salt Lake Temple. Let me know if you like them. If you don't like them, well, don't let me know. I prefer to hear only positive feedback :)

Here is just one of the many pics I've added.

Check it! www.photography-by-ashley.blogspot.com

Halloween

2009-11-05T15:51:00.006-07:00

I love halloween. It's just fun. We had a family "Toy Story" theme this year. Matt was woody, I was Bo Peep, and Parker was Buzz Lightyear.

I don't sew very often, but this year I sewed my entire costume including the hat. It was so hard. Sewing is not as easy as it seems. Fortunately, my mother in law is like a genius at sewing so we altered a pattern from some size 16 '80's prom dress pattern.

What a cute family!

As a side note, Grandma Budd gave Parker a peanut butter sandwich on Halloween. Next thing I know, half his face has swollen up. You can kinda see the puffy eye in this picture. So, off to the doctor again to check for allergies. Poor kid. Earlier in the week he swallowed my wedding ring (story to come) and now this.

Our Grand Adventure

2009-11-04T21:52:00.009-07:00

Sometimes it seems like when you have a baby, you give up a lot of things. The baby becomes the first priority when it comes to everything. All that I am is for my baby, but I know that it is best for both me and Parker if I live a healthy, happy life independent from my role as a mother. Even though I compromise many things (like sleep), I am determined not to compromise my identity and part of that is rock climbing.

Matt and I have decided that once a year, no matter what, we will go on an adventure...just the two of us. This year we finally did something we have always wanted to do: Climb the Grand Teton.

See the Grand Teton? It's the big one in the middle.

I thought I was in good shape. I had been training for a marathon (although not as diligently as I should have been), but this mountain kicked my butt! Next time I do it, I know I need to do some real training.

We started our adventure at 7:00 in the morning to backpack up to our campsite or "the caves" as the rangers called it. It was about 5 miles in and the hike wasn't too bad except my pack was about 35 lbs. and Matt's was probably around 50 lbs. Climbing gear is really heavy!

We're almost to our campsite. It is in the trees above the waterfall. That peak is the Middle Teton.

After we reached our campsite, I went exploring. This is looking down on the trail and our campsite (in the trees).

The next morning we woke up at 3:00 am. Yes, 3:00 am. After we eat and geared up, we started on the trail about an hour later at 4:00. We left our tent and sleeping bags and brought just the supplies we needed for the climb to the peak which included a rope, cams, food, and clothing. The reason you have to leave so early is that you want to avoid the thunderstorms that always come in the afternoon.

We started hiking in the dark with our headlamps and things are going pretty well until we reach a huge boulder field and lose our way. We scrambled around and eventually find our way by following the lights on the mountain from climbers up ahead.

Finally we reached the saddle at 6:00 am. It took us two hours to hike just two miles, but it was very steep and very dark. Reaching the saddle is pretty much equivalent to reaching the peak of Timpanogos...and the hard part hasn't even began.

I look tired because I am. This is the saddle at sunrise.

Still at the saddle, looking South at the Middle Teton

The tree line was back where we camped out and everything around us was just rock. Big boulders, little boulders, steep cliffs...but nothing like a trail or dirt. So we got lost a lot trying to find our way. There were many climbers along the way, but we mostly just tried to follow vague descriptions from the guide books.

We're getting quite a bit higher. This is the middle Teton.

Trying to find our way to the "wind tunnel"

The climbing was actually not very difficult. We climbed the Upper Exum which is 5.4 at hardest. Many people don't rope up most of the way and some free solo it the entire way. It is scary at some parts because of the extreme exposure: huge sheer cliffs that would lead to your death if you fell. It is also very steep. Imagine climbing stairs to the top of a mountain. It isn't technically difficult, but it uses a ton of muscle.

Some unknown climbers climbing the crux of the Upper Exum: Friction Pitch

I started getting really tired at this point. A self-portrait is a good excuse to rest.

We made it most the way and get lost again, but this time it is scary because we are practically out of food, a storm is coming in, and there is snow all around which meant slippery and dangerous climbing. We meander and reread the guide book for a while. I had a moment of panic and then decided that panicking never helped any one so I pulled myself together and we said a prayer. Instantly, we knew which direction to go and we reached the peak.

I'm waiting while Matt is supposedly figuring out where we are. This is looking West to Idaho.

There were two guys up there still (it was 3:00 pm at this point and we were pretty much the last people up there). The storm lasted less than 10 minutes and the guys helped show us the way down (the Owen-Spalding route) which was different than the way up (Upper Exum route).

We're there! Looking south towards the Middle Teton. You can't see it cause it's so small.

See that tiny peak below us, that's the Middle Teton.

My legs were shaking practically the whole way down from overexertion and lack of energy. I needed food and rest, but we weren't there yet. I needed to keep on going. Matt was fine, of course. He is in great shape and is strong. I had altitude sickness which really affected me near the peak which is about 14,000 ft.

One of the two rappels on the way down. This is my first "free rappel." Look ma, no feet.

We finally made it back to our campsite around 8:00 pm. That meant we had been hiking/climbing for 16 hours. I slept horribly that night in our little tent and woke up around 4:30 am, so we got another early start, but this time down the mountain. We painfully hiked the 5 miles out of the mountain to the campground. Overall the journey to the peak and back took us around 24 hours.

Now we're to the easy part. We have to hike straight down that to the saddle.

This is called "the eye of the needle." We were supposed to go through it on the way up, but we got lost and did it a completely different and more difficult way.

It was so flippin' hard and my body hurt so much, but it was worth it. The views were beautiful and the feeling of accomplishment was thrilling. We will definitely do it again.

Here we are at the saddle again looking North towards the Grand Teton. Still 7 more miles to our car.

St. George Adventures

2009-08-18T22:03:00.005-06:00

Matt, Parker, and I went to St George from August 6-8 to have some awesome adventures. As many of you know, being in a car that long with a baby can be an adventure, so we drove in the evening when he would be sleeping. We are lucky enough to have Matt's sister, Sarah, and her husband, Eric living in St. George. They are kind enough to let us stay at their home and they planned an awesome weekend for us. Matt's whole family came down, so it was a ton of fun.

Friday, Matt, Jesse (Matt's brother), and I got ready early to go rock climbing at the Black Cliffs. It was pretty fun to climb on Basalt. I decided to be brave a lead a 5.9 and was surprised that I could redpoint it (climb without falling or resting). The hardest climb I could lead before I had Parker was a 5.9 and this was my first redpoint of that rating. I was super excited. At the beginning of the year I made a goal to lead a 5.10 (one grade harder than 5.9), but thought it would be impossible once the summer started. Now I'm working towards that goal and hopefully will be able to do it before it snows. Matt and Jesse climbed too. I just think my accomplishment was more interesting then anything they did;).

Matt leading a 5.10b

still leading the 10b

this is me redpointing the 5.9: Entropy

clipping in on Entropy (5.9)

the scary part: I'm starting to climb above the bolt

Friday afternoon Sarah and Eric took us on a beautiful, short little hike called Canaraville Falls. Canarville is just south of Cedar City. It took us up a small stream and into a slot canyon to some waterfalls. I was having fun taking pictures so I didn't notice Matt climbing up a rickety ladder with Parker on his back. I was mad. I was mostly worried about the climb down, but I know Matt has some mad climbing skills and would be able to safely transport
Parker down the ladder.

The next day Parker went boating for the first time. He didn't really care for it. He was content exploring the boat, but didn't even seem interested in the fact that we were surrounded by water. He did have some fun on the beach, crawling around in the sand. Matt and I went wakeboarding a little. I would like to try it some more some time.

It was such a fun weekend! Thank you Sarah and Eric for the good times!

What's the Purpose?

2009-08-12T21:12:00.004-06:00

I'm sure everybody asks the question at some point: "What's the purpose of life?" I ask it sometimes, too. I am LDS and I know all the Sunday School answers (get a body, have a family, show faith, live worthy), but I'm more concerned about application than anything else. I mean "get a body," check; "have a family," check; and the other concepts are so abstract.

I, like most people, try to fill my life up with good things and surround myself with good people. I get caught up in achieving good goals and work towards becoming an accomplished person. I try to keep my house clean and stay updated on Parker's scrapbook. I have even found a way to continue working part-time. But how important are these things anyway? They are all good, but are they important.

I think as members of the church, or I should say, members of the human race, we get caught up in these types of things and sometimes forget the all-important and obvious things we should be concerned about. Many LDS people can quote scriptures like there's no tomorrow, but (unfortunately) many have a hard time living the MOST important principle. Christ has taught us that the most important thing is love. Yeah, it's obvious, but it sometimes becomes a lost priority as it gets mixed up in the cares of the world.

I get so depressed when I see people being mean to each other, saying negative comments about each other, and just generally not caring about what happens to other people. We are all in this together and I can't think of a single reason to hate somebody or intentionally hurt them. Not that I'm without fault: I find myself gossiping or saying negative things, giving in to my own selfish pride. I hate that I'm not perfect in this one thing. If I could choose one thing to be perfect in, it would be love or something better than love. Charity. Christ's love.

I guess I'm getting all up on my soap box because I teach Young Women's in my ward and tonight some of the girls were talking bad about each other. I mean, come on. These are your sisters! They need your love. I realize though, that it is not just teenage girls who have this problem.

So I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. I'm just getting some thoughts out. I guess I want to say sorry to those of you who I haven't been completely there for you. I picture myself as this person who others can talk to or someone who drops off thank you letters and cookies, but I am not that person yet. I'm trying. I wish I could be that type of friend. I also want to say thank you to those of you who are that type of friend to me. I also want to say "I love you" to everyone who reads this blog. Not in a creepy sort of way, but sincerely I do. Maybe there are some random people who read this, but I doubt it. For the most part you are my friends and maybe we're not that close, but the truth is I wish we were closer and I care about you and wish the best for all of you.

I guess I'm in this place in my life where I appreciate more all the love I get, even if it is a simple smile or a phone call and I hope I can be that type of loving person too. This may sound cheesy (this whole post probably does), but I think that is the type of thing that Heavenly Father really cares about.

Playing catch-up

2009-07-28T21:51:00.002-06:00

So, I haven't blogged in a while. You probably noticed that. But just because I haven't been posting anything doesn't mean we haven't done anything. So today I spent the day updating you on what has been going on in our lives. We've been busy having a fun summer. These are just a few of the things we have done.

Keep your eyes open because there is more to come...

Swimming

2009-07-28T21:37:00.005-06:00

Last weekend we went swimming at Matt's parent's pool in Saratoga Springs. It was Parker's second time. I didn't want to take him the first time we went. I knew that Parker was tired and it was starting to get cold since the sun was going down, but everyone else was super excited to see Parker in the pool for the first time...so I gave in and Parker did not enjoy himself. It wasn't too bad, but he was a little temperamental.

This time was different. At first he was a little apprehensive. I think that he was a little freaked out by the fact that his feet weren't touching anything and he was just floating about. Once I showed him what it was all about and we saw other kids playing, he seemed to enjoy himself more. He really loved going over on the steps where he could stand up in the water. He was getting so excited and started splashing around (He got his mommy very wet).

Parker isn't so happy yet

He's having a good time now!

Just like his daddy

Having fun playing on the steps

He kept his hat on most of the time

Here's Matt's dad doing a front flip off the diving board

Smartest Baby in the WORLD

2009-07-28T21:24:00.004-06:00

Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration, but in my defense, he is pretty darn smart. The other day he used a spoon. I didn't even teach him how to do it. He stole the spoon out of my hand, dipped it in applesauce and then put it in his mouth (and a little on his face). I couldn't believe it, but as to assure me that he really did know what he was doing, he did it again and again. All in all, I think he took a good 5 bites on his own. I even had time to tell Matt to go get the camera. So here is one of his attempts (a little messy, but hey, he is only 9 months old). Sorry about the lack of sound. I had a problem converting the files, but if you must know, the audio went something like this, "ok, dip it in the apple sauce. Good job! You are so smart. Ok, you have some. Now put it in your mouth. You are doing so well. Oh, close enough."

It is amazing what babies learn just from watching their parents. Parker also puts cell phones up to his ear. Actually he puts anything that resembles a cell phone up to his ear: TV remote, Baby monitor, camera. It always amazes me how much kids understand. They are constantly learning.

Clark Planetarium

2009-07-28T15:52:00.004-06:00

Matt asked me what I wanted to do last weekend and I told him what I often tell him in answer to such a question. I wanted to go to the planetarium. I usually do. It is the science geek in me. I did teach astronomy after all.

So this was Parker's first trip and, as the curious kid that he is, he loved to see everything.

Parker and Daddy on the moon

Parker doesn't know what he thinks about
crawling around on Mars all by himself

Parker looking at the thing with all the balls that roll
everywhere. You know what I'm talking about, right?
Ever since he got his first tooth, he likes to bite his upper lip.

Grand Canyon Trip

2009-07-28T14:27:00.007-06:00

Matt, Parker, and I went to the Grand Canyon with my family from June 22-26th. It was so much fun! This was Parker's very first camping trip and he did pretty well. It was cold at night, so he would wake up all angry, but he was happy when we were hiking around and loved looking at all the new sights.

The first day we spent mostly driving. Seven hours. Parker was pretty good, amazingly. We then went on a small 1 mile hike to Bright Angel Point at sunset.
The next day we went on a 10 mile hike on the Widforss Trail. Matt was tough and carried Parker in the backpack most of the way. My brother Cameron helped out on the last couple of miles. Parker was amazing, again. He loves the backpack. It was a little challenging because I was still nursing him, so I had to stop and lean against a tree to feed him while trying my hardest NOT to notice the bugs crawling on me. Toward the end, he fell asleep. This hike had some beautiful view points.
On the drive back from the hike, we noticed some nice boulders so we came back to the area for some rock climbing. Parker just hung out while we made up our own boulder problems.

The next day everyone went mountain biking except for Kara, Parker, and I. It was nice to take a nap with Parker. I tried to go running on some trail I found, but quickly discovered that running hills (or more acurately, mountains) are hard. Too hard, in fact. I came back and Kara taught me how to play some card games.
The next day we drove along the rim and hiked many trails. I took my share of carrying Parker around. Well, a very small share. We did this really lame hike that didn't go anywhere and the trail was overgrown with thorny bushes and there was little shade because most of the trees had burned down. What a waste of 4 miles. Oh well, the rest of the hikes that day were much better.
The last day we broke down camp and then the group (except Parker and I) went on a bike ride. They loved it. I went on a little hike with Parker and then spent the rest of the time reading a book. Then we went home.

Quite the adventure!

Mommy and Me at the zoo

2009-06-10T11:59:00.004-06:00

In early May, Matt and I took Parker to the zoo for the first time. I was a little worried that he would be to young to appreciate it, but I love to go to the zoo anyway so I took advantage of the Macy's "Mommy & Me" event, bought a T-shirt, and went to the zoo for a discounted price. At first Matt and I would try to point out the elephants and giraffes and Parker wouldn't know the difference between those animals and stationary objects like a rock or a fence. Actually, he found the fence more interesting than the animal about 70% of the time. The trick was to look at the small, quicker moving animals. He couldn't take his eyes off of them. He loved the turtle swimming around in the tank and kept trying to grab it through the glass. I love Parker so much!! He is the joy in my life.

Parker trying to grasp the turtle

There is no animal in there, but Parker thought the water was fascinating

Parker wanted to eat that ear so badly

Parker refusing to look at the giraffes

His hair was greasy from the sunscreen that I put on his head since he kept taking off his hat.
He has beautiful eyes, doesn't he?

I think he liked looking at the rhino...or maybe he just liked looking through a window.

He doesn't look so happy here, but he loved going to the zoo.

Parker's First Easter

2009-06-10T11:45:00.005-06:00

Parker loved his Easter basket. I got him a few books and toys, but I think he enjoyed the plastic eggs the most. If fact, it has been a few months and Parker still plays with those plastic eggs.

Family Pictures

2009-06-10T10:51:00.007-06:00

These pictures were taken in Early April (and I just got them on the computer. Wow, I'm behind on things.) Matt and I just set up the tripod and took them. Of course, that is not the easiest way to take a family picture, but it is free.

Keeping It Balanced

2009-06-08T09:14:00.002-06:00

I can make a goal and work towards accomplishing it. I'm actually pretty good at it. The problem is that while I'm working on one goal I tend to forget everything else. It is hard to stay balanced. I'm sure this isn't a unique problem. With so much going on in our modern-day lives, it is a challenge to keep it balanced on a daily basis.

So right now I've been really working on my health and have been proud of what I've accomplished (see last post), but now I'm realizing all the other things I've been getting behind in. I haven't worked on photography for forever. I haven't been reading much. I haven't been playing the piano or guitar. I haven't been consistant teaching Parker sign language like I've wanted to. I won't even get started on the state of cleanliness (or the lack thereof) of my house.

I'm not really complaining, it is more of an observation. The better I'm doing in one aspect of my life, the worse I do at all the other aspects. How do you guys stay balanced? Is there some trick that I'm missing?

Just a little bragging

2009-05-18T10:34:00.003-06:00

I have fallen in love with running 5ks. I started running 5ks while training for a marathon this fall. My marathon training isn't going so well (I'm behind on my mileage) but I'm doing awesome at my 5ks. At least I think so.

I remember how difficult it was to run 10 minutes a couple of months after I had Parker. And I am using the term "run" quite liberally here. I was moving at a sluggish 12 or 13 minute/mile. But as with anything, improvement comes after hard work. My first 5k (3.12 miles) was in St. George in January. My goal was to run it under 33 minutes. I killed myself running it in 29:02. Seriously, I pushed myself so hard that I times I started to think that I wasn't going to make it.

My next 5k was the "Budd Family Race" in April and I ran it in 28:33. Not only did I run it faster, but I was not dead tired afterward. I think I could have pushed myself harder.

Next, I ran the "Race for the Cure" on May 9th in 25:51. That was an 8:30/mile average. I felt good about that time.

I'm telling you this, not to brag...actually it kinda is to brag. I'm really proud of myself and how far I have come in the 7 months after Parker was born. I was sooo out of shape at first, but now I'm feeling confident that I can achieve anything.

Chiropractic Care?

2009-04-28T11:55:00.003-06:00

So I went to a chiropractor for the first time for a back analysis because I have been have some constant back pain and didn't know what else to do. He took X-rays and hooked me up to some electrodes and did all these tests "does this hurt?" balance on one foot type of things.

So the verdict is in and I have one messed up back. He says I have developed scoliosis that has developed because of misalignments in my lower back and pelvis or something like that (he said it is not because of genetic reasons. I wasn't born this way). He also says that my neck looks like I've been in a car accident. I haven't. And I know that he isn't just saying this stuff because I saw the x-ray and my back LOOKS messed up. It curves significantly to the right and because it does this I have a few ribs that are out of place (that is where I feel most of the pain).

the picture on the right is pretty much what my spine looks like
except it curves in the other direction

Problem is that Matt's insurance doesn't cover chiropratic. That is where I was hoping I could get some input. Do you know of any thing that helps this type of problem? Have any of you been to a chiropractor? Is is worth it? I know that some people label them in the realm of psudoscience, but there does seem to be some truth to alignment. I'm just trying to figure out if I should pay all this money or if there is an alternative way to fix my back.

How to survive tough economic times

2009-04-23T08:18:00.002-06:00

It's funny 'cause it's true!

"sounds confusing!"

My Cloth Diapering Adventure

2009-04-20T15:17:00.001-06:00

You might think I'm crazy...ok, I am crazy, but I decided to try out cloth diapers. I didn't ever think I would be interested in such a smelly alternative, but after becoming a mommy I came to the realization of how much waste diapers alone were producing. I also am slightly obsessed with saving money. So there was my motivation: save the environment and save some cash. Of course, I was only motivated up to a certain point. It had to be easy enough to manage.

If any of you are interested in cloth diapering, my advice is that it is a lot easier than you think and has a gross factor that is only slightly above changing disposable diapers. I'm not trying to convince you if you are not interested, I'm just saying that if you are interested at all, you should go for it. These aren't your grandma's cloth diapers. I'm amazed how easy they are to use.

After much research, I decided upon gdiapers. These are hybrid diapers that have a flushable insert and resuable cover and liner. The insert biodegrades in about 50 days compared to diapers biodegrading in 500 years. I, and a lot of people, use cloth (gerber prefolds) in place of the flushable insert to save money. [Huggies size 3 diapers come to be about $.20 a diaper and the gdiaper flushable is about $.40] I get by with 4 gdiapers and 18 gerber prefolds. One gdiapers cost about $17, but I purchased all of mine in 2 starter kits [$26 for 2 gdiapers and 10 flushables].

I discovered that the cloth prefolds are not absorbant enough for nighttime use. I discovered this the hard way. Poor Parker soaked completely through 2 gdiapers one night. I know that they work for many babies at night, but Parker is a heavy wetter. So I am now using Bumgenius 3.0 one-size pocket diapers. They have snaps to adjust for size so I'll be able to use them until he potty trains and they can get tiny for when I have another baby. I can "stuff" them with cloth to make them as absorbent as I need. Plus, they come in cute colors. I LOVE these diapers! They are so easy to use.

A lot of people I talked to had concerns about how well cloth diapers would perform (Kelli). The good news is that I have had LESS blowouts and absolutely NO leaks (except my nighttime experimentation). I only had two blowouts and they were both user error (I put on the diaper too tight or not straight).

Most people are concerned about touching poop. Let me assure you, I touch poop just as much as I did when I used disposables. Actually less because there are less blowouts. When I do have a very poopy diaper, I take it to the toilet and I have this nifty sprayer thingamajig that sprays the diaper clean and my fingers remain clean too. Yeah, it is fourty-five dollars, but worth every penny. I don't even bother to clean the ones with only a little poop. They just go straight into the diaper champ with the wet diapers. Every two days I do laundry. I just open my diaper champ and throw the diapers and the bag into the washer. Easy Peasy.

You can spend as much or as little on cloth diapers as you want. I found the products I was comfortable with and bought them. Here is how it adds up:

2 gdiaper starter kits: $54
1 Diaper sprayer: $45
3 Bumgenius 3.0: $53
18 Gerber prefolds: $20
2 diaper pail liners: $32
2 wet bags: $32
flannel for wipes: $10
Soft bum for Parker: Priceless
______________________
Total: $214

That may seem like a lot, but the average mommy spends $1500 on diapers over the course of 2 years. Yeah, I like the idea of saving thousands of dollars over the span of a few children. Plus babies with cloth diapers experience less diaper rashes and potty train earlier. Oh, the benefits! So far my system seems simple enough. Even Matt will change Parker's diapers. Plus I get the satisfaction of cutting the amount of waste my family produces in half. The thing I struggle with now is traveling. I just hope I can stick with it.

Did I mention how cute Parker looks in his gdiapers?

Happy Easter

2009-04-13T15:32:00.002-06:00

What a wonderful reminder about the true meaning of Easter.

I thought this article was interesting in regard to this video.

Best Workout Video Ever

2009-04-10T11:51:00.002-06:00

This is the most amazing workout you will probably ever see. I was first introduced to BODY FLEX by Matt's dad. They seriously own this workout video. It is for real. Get ready for body flex:

(I know the sound is a little off, but I think you get the idea)

Wow.

Etsy Love

2009-04-07T13:29:00.004-06:00

I love perusing the etsy site. They have such beautiful and unique handcrafted items. Maybe one day I'll have enough talent and creativity to produce such things.

It is a good day!

2009-04-06T10:24:00.002-06:00

I don't know why, but I'm just feeling really good today. Maybe it is because Parker is getting over his cold and I finally had a decent nights sleep. Sleep makes such a difference. Or maybe it is because I am the mother of the most perfect little baby ever. Maybe it is because I have such a loving and hard-working husband. It may possibly be that I getting that much closer to accomplishing many of my goals. You know what, maybe it is because the sun is shining today. Whatever it is, I am sure grateful for this wonderful day.

It is 5:30 am

2009-03-30T05:34:00.002-06:00

... and I've been awake since 2:00 am. And I'm not awake because of Parker. He is sleeping soundly. Remember my thyroid problem, yeah, I think they increased my prescription too much. I don't even feel tired. weird.

At least I got the dishes and laundry done.

To Work or Not To Work, That Is The Question

2009-03-25T08:32:00.005-06:00

I used to be a chemistry teacher and I loved it. I had a great connection with the kids at AMES and that is what made the teaching experience so great. A month or so ago I got an invitation for the AMES science fair. I, of course, wanted to attend. I promised that I would come back and visit with my baby after he was born and hadn't made good on that promise yet so I thought this might be a good opportunity to get that done.

I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed attending the science fair. I felt like a celebrity. All my former students came to talk to me and tell me how much they missed me. I even enjoyed hearing them say that I was a better teacher than the new chemistry teacher. (Is that bad of me?) Honestly, I don't know if that is true. I helped pick out the new chemistry teacher and she has a Masters in chemistry and many years of teaching experience. But I like to believe that it is true.

I walked up to the Principal of AMES, Al, and we talked a little. I said how much I loved the science fair and then he asked, maybe just jokingly, "Would you like to help teach the science fair class next year." Without even thinking I just replied, "sure." His jaw dropped, "Really?"

AMES has an entire class dedicated to science fair. The current teacher Tawyna Vickers is amazing. She puts in many hour of hard work to help these kids be successful. She has even written a book about science fair. This Tribune Article is about her book and AMES science fair. She does a wonderful job, but needs to cut down on her time working, hence the job offer from Al. I would help her teach or something. I'm not quite sure all the details yet.

I am meeting with Al about this job next week. He basically told me that I have the job if I want it and to come prepared with questions about the position.

The class is taught every other day for 90 minutes plus I would have to be there a little before and after which means that Parker would have to be babysat for 2 hours or so every other day. I would also have a lot of work that I could do at home: lesson plans, editing reseach plans, double checking paperwork and applications, corresponding with students and their assigned mentors. I figure I would be working about 10 hours a week on average: 5 at the school and 5 at home. It doesn't sound too bad until I think about Parker.

Leaving him with a babysitter is one thing, but I also worry about trying to work at home when he needs me and then not getting anything done and then having to work in the evening when I need to be spending time with my husband.

I don't NEED the job for the money. We are getting along just fine on Matt's income, but the money would be nice especially come next year when we will probably move to bigger house (with a bigger mortgage).

But then again, this is a great part-time job where I can still use my degree and keep my career fresh.

But then again, I don't NEED to work.

So I feel a bit of guilt. Does it make me a bad mom if I CHOOSE to work when I don't NEED to? I love being with Parker. I know some mothers have a hard time just staying at home all day, but I have adjusted fairly well. I keep myself occupied with projects and Parker is such a cute kid. I like...I should say I LOVE being a stay at home mom, but I feel like this is a great opportunity. They would be very flexible. I even think I might be able to bring Parker to school often. I've seen other teachers there do it. It is a laid back atmosphere.

So what do you think? Am I crazy for taking this job or would I be crazy not to take this job? It is a hard decision for me.

Goiter Girl

2009-03-19T16:21:00.004-06:00

This story starts senior year of high school. I was a pretty busy person who was involved in lots of things. I always thought this was the reason I was tired. I would come home from school, plop on the couch turn on the TV to watch cartoons (Spiderman and Recess) and within 10 minutes I would fall asleep.

I couldn't help it. I was exhausted. Then night came and I had a hard time getting to sleep so I would, again, plop on the couch and watch movies--always a cartoon, usually disney. I would actually rotate through certain sleep inducing movies like Land Before Time, Lion King, and Mulan. On an unrelated note, I think the Land Before Time is actually an allegory of our life here on Earth as journey to heaven.

(think about it: a spirit guides the way through many obstacles for
them to reach a place they can be together with their families. I think
Don Bluth ripped this story off the plan of salvation. He was LDS, you know.)

My family would make fun of me, not just for watching so many cartoons, but for being so lazy and sleepy all the time. Then, the summer after graduation my Dad noticed something. "What's wrong with your throat?" "huh? Nothing's wrong with it," and I stormed out of the room to see what he was talking about. My throat looked like it was swollen. I ignored it for a few days, but then I realized what it was:a goiter. I had learned about goiters in my biology class. They are caused by abnormal growth of the thyroid. I didn't want to post a real picture of a goiter because they can be ugly, ugly things. Google it if you're curious.

So I diagnosed myself with help from the internet and determined I had Hypothyroidism. I went to the doctor and confirmed my suspicion. It is fairly common in women so if you have many of these symptoms, you should get a blood test.

Poor muscle tone (muscle hypotonia)
Fatigue
Cold intolerance, increased sensitivity to cold
Depression
Muscle cramps and joint pain
Goiter
Thin, brittle fingernails
Thin, brittle hair
Paleness
excessive sweating
Dry, itchy skin
Weight gain and water retention.
Bradycardia (low heart rate: less than sixty beats per minute)
Constipation

At first they put my on a high dose of thyroid hormone replacement. That kept me pretty wired at night during the first few months of my freshman year of college. I had serious insomnia. Finally they got the dose right and I've been fine ever since and my goiter went away for the most part. Throughout my pregnancy, my levels were normal. So my doctor told me to get it checked after I had Parker. I thought to myself, "I feel fine. It has never changed before. I'll do it later." So I never got it done. That backfired on me. I've been pretty tired lately. I even have to admit something horrible. I'm ashamed of it, but last weekend was pretty crazy and I didn't get very much sleep. Sunday came along, and I was too tired to wake up, get Parker ready all by myself, prepare my lesson and get to church on time at 9:00. That's right. I sluffed church.
I've never done that. I was just so tired and I wasn't thinking straight. Matt was gone to meetings, so I just slept in as long as I could. Fortunately Parker was tired too. I felt so bad. Then the next day I was looking in the mirror and noticed something. My goiter was back. It was smaller than the original goiter, but everything fell into place. My thyroid levels were off. I went to the doctor as soon as I could to get my blood test and the results were as I suspected. So my medication will be adjusted and hopefully I get back to normal. Moral of the story: listen to your doctor and you won't get a goiter.

Now I'm in the mood to watch some spider-man cartoons.

Am I Accomplishing Anything?

2009-03-18T08:36:00.004-06:00

The other day I was telling Matt about how I feel. Sometimes I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. I know that's not true, but that's how I feel. Raising a baby is a huge accomplishment, but it doesn't feel like it day to day. It just feels like I'm doing a lot of laundry, feeding Parker, cleaning the house, holding Parker, making dinner, and playing with Parker.

Those are all great things to do, but I don't feel like I'm progressing as a person. So I start all these projects to compensate. I started a health blog that I haven't had time to update. I work on photoshop, trying to learn the best way to edit photos. I'm writing a short book about the way Matt and I met. I'm learning "flight of the bumblebee" on the piano and writing a song about Parker on the guitar. Plus I am training for a marathon. Well, I'm trying to do all of these things, but the thing is it is hard to accomplish anything when my longest stretch of uninterrupted time is about an hour. Sometimes just taking a shower is my greatest accomplishment of the day. So I've started all these projects, but most of them aren't going anywhere.

I thought I was weird to have these feelings, but I was visiting teaching yesterday and come to find out the other two women (who are stay at home moms) feel the exact same way. I felt relieved. I'm not a weirdo! Well, at least not that weird. They spoke about their many projects and how their husbands don't understand it. I used to feel bad about not living up to my expectations, but I'm seeing it differently now.

This trying to do a million things isn't working though. So, I'm going to try to focus just on one thing at a time and maybe, just maybe, I'll finish something I'm working on. And of course, I'm raising one cute little boy which will be my greatest accomplishment. Even though I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything by playing with him all day, I'm really teaching him about the world and about his mother's love for him.

Yum Yum

2009-03-17T08:55:00.003-06:00

Parker Update

2009-03-12T12:50:00.006-06:00

Still the cutest boy in the whole world
with the biggest cheeks in the whole world

I am always so amazed at how fast babies grow! It seems like just yesterday I was cradling little Parker in my arms at the hospital. Now, he will jump up and down in my lap whenever I hold him. It's quite a workout. He is over 5 months old and learning new things every single day.

Parker in his jumperoo

the reason he tries to jump in my lap when I'm holding him at church
at least I can fit in an arm workout somewhere

Today I gave Parker his first haircut. It looks ok...from a distance. Next time I think I might leave the hair cutting to the professionals.

Parker has started solids and loves them. He opens his mouth so wide and gets mad if he doesn't get a spoonful of food fast enough. He loves his veggies...except peas, but who likes peas anyway. I was gagging the first time I was feeding them to him. Smelly, smelly peas. Yuck! But, like a good son, he ate most of them.

One day Parker was curious about my cup of water, so I showed him what it was. Now he loves drinking water from a cup. He gets more excited about it than about his toys. He does a pretty good job. About half the water makes it in his mouth, the other half, on his shirt.

I love his big blue eyes

When Parker turned 4 months he rolled over from tummy to back. I was so excited. He did it three times in a row. I went to get the video camera and then he never did it again. Never. Even to this day, more than a month later, he won't roll tummy to back. On a positive note, Parker did learn to roll back to tummy a couple of weeks ago and he does it everyday. He gets mad when he is stuck on him tummy. I try to remind him how to roll the other way, but he just won't listen. Stubborn little guy.

Parker can also sit up pretty well. I just put a pillow behind him for those inevitable falls backwards.

He also loves music. We are teaching him to bang on the piano and strum the guitar. Come to think of it, these lessons might backfire on us someday. I'll start thinking of places to hide the guitar now.

he just looks funny in this one

What makes a baby smart?

2009-03-04T09:42:00.008-07:00

That's a question that most moms want answered and tons of companies would like to tell you that their products are the answer, but the truth is more complicated than that in my opinion. I was a science teacher and am an admitted science geek, so I got my science fix researching some of this stuff. I actually learned most of this information in professional development classes (quantum learning), but wanted to apply it to babies. I thought that since I took all this time researching, I might share what I learned. Hope it's helpful.

What is smart?
First we need to define 'smart'. Most people think that intelligence is doing well at school, but that is only a teeny tiny portion of it. Studies by Howard Gardner have shown that there are actually 8 intelligences:
1. logical-mathematical (numbers, cause and effect)
2. linguistic-verbal (reading, talking)
3. spacial-visual (puzzles, drawing)
4. musical-rhythmic (instruments, clapping)
5. bodily-kinesthetic (moving, athletics, dancing)
6. interpersonal (interacting with others)
7. intrapersonal (analysing yourself)
8. naturalistic (organization, categorization)
So the real question is not "are you smart," but "how are you smart." Building an "intelligent" child should address each of these areas.

Big Brain

We have all heard that you can't grow brain cells and that is true, but studies by Dr. Marion Diamond have shown that smarter people have denser brains. This is because when you learn something a new neural connection is created. Ok, so what does that mean? Basically, your brain cell (or neurons) are connected to each other with extensions called dendrites and axon terminals. Learning creates more dendrites and axon terminals that connect one part of the brain to another. This is a huge idea! One can actually change the shape of their own brain by learning. "Neurons that fire together, wire together." So when someone is "smart" really they just have more connections between ideas. In turn, that means the more you learn, the easier it is to learn. You already know that though. Just think of a time you learned something. The way you learned it was to apply it to something you already new. If you didn't have any background knowledge, it was that much more difficult to learn. For example, it is easier to learn the guitar after you have already learned the piano.

Making Smarter Babies
How do you do it? Simple. Building more connections. Actually babies are born with an estimated 1000 trillion neural connections and by age ten this number will be reduced to approximately 500 trillion. This process is called pruning. Babies are wired to learn quickly, but if those don't use those neural connections, they lose them. That means exposing you little one to new sights, smells, textures, sounds, feelings, toys, locations, etc. is important in maintaining neural connections. Every new experience is a learning experience. This is a critical time in the babies development.

Do Baby Einstein DVDs Work?
Well, define "work"? It does stimulate the baby, but is that stimulation really teaching them anything? For example, it does not teach babies social interactions (interpersonal) because the TV is not (despite what they claim) interacting with your baby. Your baby might smile, but Baby Einstein doesn't care. In reality, when a baby smiles or coos, people will react and your baby learns from this interaction. What about the classical music? Well, music of all sorts will help your baby learn, but the so called "Mozart Effect" has been debunked as stated in this BBC article. More importantly, I personally do not recommend Baby Einstein because the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies don't watch TV until their two. That's not to say that they can't see a little bit, but it should be limitted. There are many reasons for this. First of all, they can learn much more with real toy/parent interactions and secondly studies have shown a link between watching TV and ADHD. The TV screen is constantly changing scenes and sounds which does not develop long term attention span. Read this TIME article for more information on the negative effects of baby einstein and TV in general.

studies have shown that Baby Einstein DVDs are
detrimental to babies' language development

Baby Sign Language
Baby sign language is a powerful tool to teach language. It reinforces words both verbally and visually which makes creating neural connections that much easier. Basically, it makes learning language for the little guys easy because they can distinguish words easier with two different cues. Also, babies are more developmentally ready to make signs with their hands earlier than they have the coordination with their tongues and mouths to speak. This means babies can communicate earlier (translation: less crying). The benefits to baby are amazing. Signing babies develop a larger vocabulary earlier, they use longer sentences, have a larger IQ (by 12 points on average), and read earlier than their counterparts.

Baby signing 'more'
the first sign to teach your baby

Swing Dancing

2009-03-03T09:13:00.009-07:00

Matt and I used to dance...all...the...time! We started in High School and ran the RHS swing club. We performed at assemblies and other events. I went to college and was on the USU Swing Team where I had the opportunity to perform and teach often. Matt and I have even been paid to teach other people how to dance. At our wedding, we even pleased the crowd with a few dances...and then we stopped dancing. Figures. I would love to go dancing more often, but Matt wasn't as enthusiastic.

Dancing at Matt's House

Then, something changed. Matt and I went to the Harlem Nights dance in Cache Valley a week or so ago and we had so much fun. We forgot how much we enjoyed dancing. We also forgot that we were actually pretty good at it. So this renewed a desire to dance. Since then we have been trying new things in our kitchen and watching youtube for some new ideas. I love it.

Riverton High School Talent Show 2001

High School Performance 2002 for Half Time

Harlem Nights 2003: Hyrum, UT

Swingtime Swingsical 2004ish

The girls of the USU swing team 2004ish

the week after Matt got home from his mission
Sweaty after some intense dancing at BYU 2005

Dancing at BYU 2005

Swing Dancing during traffic jam 2006

dancing at our reception 2006

dancing at our reception 2006 doing the potato sack

dancing at our reception 2006 doing the May Pole

dancing at our reception 2006
my grandparent's backyard in Bluffdale

Happy Birthday Matt

2009-03-03T08:28:00.007-07:00

I'm going to take the liberty of bragging about my husband. It's his birthday, so that is as good as any excuse to do so.
First of all, Matt is an amazing husband. We met in 10th grade at Riverton High School, and although I wasn't really into him at that point, he never gave up on me and we were best friends. He would and still would do anything for me. He is always putting me first. Yesterday he opened his birthday presents and I sort of spent a lot of money on one of them. He said that we should take it back and get something nice for me instead. He is always thinking of me.
Second of all, Matt is super smart. He can figure out how to do anything. He is especially good at teaching himself. About 2 years ago he worked for this mean old man in a mansion. The man made Matt run his businesses. Even though the man was mean, Matt learned a lot about accounting so Matt then started his own bookkeeping business. It wasn't too profitable so he got a job as a "junior accountant" at skincarerx (his current employer). Matt made all sorts of important contributions and they were so impressed that when they fired the controller they promoted Matt to take her place as accounting manager (a position that usually requires a degree). Among other things, Matt taught himself how to make a website. He bought textbooks and read them so he could do it. The website isn't finished (Matt is busy), but it is still pretty impressive. Check it out the search function. Matt even created the logo. www.gearsaving.com.
Matt is very ambitious and busy. Since Matt's promotion, he has been very busy at work and yet he still finds time to do everything else. He has full-time school at the university of phoenix and every tuesday he has class for 4 hours plus hours of homework. Matt is also very dedicated to being healthy. He usually wakes up at 6:00 to go running or will bike to work plus he goes to the climbing gym on lunch break. Matt also has the calling of ward clerk which means hours a week at the church. He is busy, but he saves every spare moment to spend with me.
Matt is a great father. He doesn't get to spend much time with Parker during the week (he doesn't even see him on some tuesdays), so he takes advantage of the weekends. Matt loves to take care of Parker during church on Sundays. Also, even though Matt is busy and wakes up early, he won't hesitate to help with Parker in the evening if I'm worn out. He loves playing with him.
Matt is the best and I thank Heavenly Father everyday that he is in my life.

My Health Advisor

2009-02-12T12:34:00.004-07:00

Drumroll please...dun dun dun dun (is that how you would spell a drumroll?) I have a new blog called My Health Advisor. I'm sort of obsessed with health, fitness, nutrition, and all that jazz. So I decided to do something productive with all the stuff I have learned. I specifically want to focus on the science of health, but not in a difficult "I didn't understand a word you just said" sort of way. Science can be like that sometimes. Anyway check it out at http://myhealthadvisor.blogspot.com/ and be sure to add comments or suggestions. If you want me to research a certain health topic, let me know.

It is a work in progress, but hopefully I can help some people learn about health.

Parker sucks...and I mean that in the nicest way possible

2009-02-12T09:09:00.005-07:00

Parker is growing so fast and learning so much. Now he loves to grab things and then he immediately puts them in his mouth. So yesterday I got my face really close to his and he digs his little fingers into my face and tries his best to eat me. He was unsuccessful, but I thought it was hilarious. I showed Matt this new trick. So Matt decided he wanted to try it. Parker was a bit more successful this time. Parker actually latched on to Matt's face. It wasn't even for very long... but long enough to give Matt a hickey on his face. I thought it was so funny, so I took a picture. Matt didn't think it was as funny as I did, but then again he is the one he has to go to work with it on his face

Vote for Parker

2009-02-05T11:29:00.001-07:00

I entered Parker into a baby contest online. Please follow this link to vote for him: https://www.greatamericanphotocontest.com/voter1/index.aspx?referid=EmailFriends&p=1086716&x=.jpg the winner is based on popular votes for this month.

Please, please vote for him!!

THANKS!

Peak of Chubbiness

2009-02-04T11:58:00.006-07:00

Parker just went in for his 4 month appointment yesterday. Can you believe he is that old already? I try to hold on to every precious moment I have with him. The doctor, as always, was impressed with Parker's size and health. Now he is 17 lbs. 1 oz. (87th percentile) and 26 in. (86th percentile). At his two month appointment he was in the 95th percentile for both height and weight. He is leveling off. The doctor said that he has reached his peak of chubbiness and will start to thin out and become more "average" ... then Parker peed on him. (true story)

It is so much fun to see Parker learn and grow. He can grab objects now and immediately after he grabs something, he puts it in his mouth. It is easy to get him to laugh now which makes it that much more fun to play with him. He loves to "talk" and sometimes does it loudly during the most inopportune moments like sacrament meeting. We love his big smiles.

I decided I needed to take some pictures to show off Parker's chubbiness while it lasts. He is so handsome. His big beautiful blue eyes are striking and his hair is getting more red as he gets older. I know I posted a lot of pictures, but you should have seen how many I took. This is a small sampling.

Temple Square

2009-01-23T10:20:00.007-07:00

I know, I know...these pictures are a little old, but I thought, "Better late than never." I want you to notice how darn cute Parker is.

St. George 5K

2009-01-22T08:29:00.006-07:00

Last weekend, I ran my first 5K. It was in St. George, so we also were able to spend time with Matt's sister Sarah and her husband Eric.

For being in St. George, I was cold running the 5K. Well, most of me was hot, but my hands were icicles. Matt's dad, sister, and brother-in-law ran it as well as Matt and I. I got the worst time out of everyone, but I still beat my goal. My time was 29:02 for the 3.12 mile run (9:20/mile pace). Matt did awesome at 25:27 (8:11/mile pace). Everyone got addicted to the racing idea.

I got to use my Christmas present that Matt gave me: Garmin Forerunner 305 GPS watch and heart monitor. I love it.

Afterward we went mountain biking on the Bear Claw Poppy trail. You're probably thinking I'm really hardcore, but don't. I did horribly. I was too scared to go down the big hills and too tired to ride up them. I still had fun...in a really slow type of way. I haven't been on a bike for over a year, so I'm going to cut myself some slack.

Next race we are planning on doing will be a 10K around the end of March. If you know of any, let me know.

99.9 FM

2009-01-05T10:29:00.004-07:00

Yeah, 99.9 has become one of our favorite radio stations. Don't bother turning it on to see what great music it has because it hasn't any. It is just static. But strange enough, Parker loves it. This is a fairly common situation: Matt and I are driving down to Bluffdale and Parker is crying because he HATES his carseat and the only thing he hates more than being put in his carseat is being put in his carseat with no one to play with. So we tune the radio to 99.9 FM and it is like a mute button for Parker. Silence...well except for the annoying static in the background. I've started to get used to it though. I imagine it being the sound that comes for a large beautiful waterfall on a tropical island. I have a good imagination.

I got the idea for the static from reading the book The Happiest Baby on the Block. It teaches about how babies love white noise. Supposedly my uterus sounds like a TV with poor reception. I guess all the liquids floating around them make a loud whooshing sound. This explains why all cultures use this sort of sound to quiet their babies. In the good ol' USA we say 'sh' but other places say 'ts' or 'ch' all with the same effect. Interesting, no? So that's why you know when the librarian puts her finger to her lips and whispers "shhh" you should be quiet.

We try not to use this magic trick with Parker too often. We don't want him to become reliant upon the static in order to fall asleep. But is nice during those emergency occasions to settle him down. Parker loves his static.

Oh, and 99.9 has a slightly better quality of static than other stations.

The Year of Unstoppable Me

2008-12-30T08:11:00.006-07:00

I am a HUGE goal person, so, of course, New Years is an excellent opportunity for me to write resolutions. On Sunday, I was teaching my Young Women how to set S.M.A.R.T goals. That is: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely goals. It got me thinking about my goals and posting them in public forum. A goal is only a wish if it isn't written down and I thought I might take it a step further by sharing my goals with everyone (I could use all the motivation possible, even if it is harassment by my friends).

PHYSICAL
-run a marathon 9/19
-climb a 5.11a 10/1
-lead a 5.10a 10/1
-do a pull up 10/1
-weigh my ideal weight +/- 5 lbs (depending on fat loss & muscle gain) 2/1
-maintain weight throughout year

MENTAL
-learn 3 new Spanish words a week
-read 25 books this year
-learn 4 piano songs
-learn 4 guitar songs

EMOTIONAL
-Never criticize my appearance
-Say "I love you" every day to Parker and Matt (This is an easy one)

SPIRITUAL
-Read the Book of Mormon 6/1
-Pray 2x a day
-Read scriptures daily (no exceptions)
-Go to the temple once a month

Maybe I'm being a bit ambitions, but I'd rather reach for the stars and land in the trees than reach for the trees and land in the mud.

Best. Thing. Ever.

2008-12-23T09:18:00.005-07:00

Parker started laughing a couple of weeks ago. Awesome! It's quite the challenge to get a little giggle out of him. These videos show him laughing, but thankfully they do not show what we are doing. Embarrassing! After a full-blown attempt at making him laugh, I get really tired. So far my dad can get him to laugh the most. I don't know why. The beard? Maybe.

Real Beauty

2008-12-09T18:53:00.003-07:00

Emotional abuse shouldn't be tolerated. Everybody knows this. But how often do we say abusive things to ourselves? Hopefully all of you are better at this than me, but I tend to say negative things about myself to myself or my husband. Among other things, I will criticize the way I look. Even if you don't say those type of things out loud, I'm sure that many of you have thought of them as you look in the mirror. Why do we do this? I put a lot of blame on the media. The way they portray women is not realistic. According to many movies or TV shows, a woman is only of value if she is "attractive." Their definition of attractiveness is, well, too specific and shallow. A women can only look a certain way and be a certain size. She must have beautiful skin, silky hair, the right size of breasts and butt. And if she doesn't, she isn't important.

I've also noticed quite the double standard when it comes to appearance in movies and TV. Why is it that there are successful male actors who are old or unattractive yet it is difficult to find their female counterparts. I've noticed that female news broadcasters are beautiful and thin, but that is not always the case with men. Just another way the media defines value in womanhood.

In reality, beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and variety. We can look very differently and still all be beautiful. That is what God intended when He created us with such variety. Our worth is not defined by the way we measure up to movie stars.

I have decided not to say anything negative about the way I look anymore. I'm doing this for many reasons:
1) Harassing myself is a form of emotional abuse and is not healthy
2) By giving my appearance so much attention, I'm undermining the important things in life (appearance is not important when it comes to things like my eternal salvation)
3) I'm being a bad example to others around me like my little sister
4) Just because I don't look like them, I am still beautiful the way God created me
5) I would never wish others to think poorly of themselves, so why would I do it to myself

This is a small film made by Dove that represents the media's obsession with women as objects. It makes me sad to see that beautiful little girl and the horrible things she will think about herself if she doesn't grow up to look like the girls on TV. We were all that little girl and I hope we have the strength and wisdom to know what real beauty is.

If you were like me and criticize your appearance, I hope you will commit to end that emotional abuse to yourself.

Parker is Two Months

2008-12-04T16:01:00.004-07:00

On Tuesday Parker and I went to his two month doctor appointment. Some words the doctor used to describe Parker were: strong, amazing, alert, impressive. I know I'm bragging, but that's what moms do, right? He now weighs 14 lbs. 6 oz which is in the 95th percentile.

This video shows Parker when he was in the hospital. He was only 8 lbs. 3 oz. back then. Pretty average. Now he is big and chubby! I'm kinda embarrassed. As you can see in the first clip, I look horrible. My face was all swollen from pushing so hard. A couple days later, you can see that some of the swelling went down, but I can't walk well yet. Walking normal took a couple of weeks.

Although he is being stubborn for the camera, Parker really does smile a lot. He just barely started cooing a lot as you can see in the last clip. He'll just talk and talk to himself and to me. I love it.

Family Portraits

2008-12-02T14:18:00.005-07:00

Over Thanksgiving weekend I had the opportunity to take some pictures for both my family and the Rawlings family. I learned a lot from this experience that I believe will make me a better photographer. Please check out the pictures on my other blog: photography-by-ashley.blogspot.com .

The Rawlings at Garden Park Ward

I'm thankful for. . .

2008-12-01T09:26:00.004-07:00

my family.
I am so blessed to have a husband who is loving, ambitious, supportive, and understanding. He is also a great father. Matt will do whatever possible to make me happy and always puts me first in his life. He is super busy with work, school, starting a business, and now his new church calling, but he always makes time for his family.

I am so blessed to have a healthy and happy baby boy. I never knew how wonderful motherhood would be until I actually became a mother and now I realize that it is the most rewarding role I can play in this life. I love Parker and his big smiles.

I want my body back!

2008-11-12T13:07:00.004-07:00

I remember the month before I gave birth. I was so anxious...mostly to hold my baby but partly (a big part) to get my body back. I didn't realize how lengthy the process would be for my body to return to normal, let alone the effort it would take. I don't know what I was imagining...that my abs would just snap back into shape and my skin would magically tighten? Well, that didn't happen. Not only that, but I am soooo weak. I guess that is what happens after 9 months of no strenuous exercise. Granted, I should have worked out more while I was pregnant. All I really did was go walking (a lot of walking) and climb the stairs in my home (which for a pregnant woman IS a real workout). I'll have to remember this and lift some light weights more often in my next pregnancy (I'm not making any announcements, if that's what you're thinking).

As a side note, right after I had Parker, Matt got a look at my stomach and started to laugh. Yeah, real sensitive of him. I kinda thought it was funny looking too: all flabby and loose. Six weeks later it isn't so funny. Now I just want it gone. It has shrunk a lot, but definitely still there.

The other day, all the boys in my family were having a one-armed push up contest. They encouraged me to do a push up. I thought I'd be able to do ten because that used to be easy. I got down on the ground and fell on my stomach. I couldn't even do one and I was shocked. I thought maybe I just didn't have the right form. I try again with the same result. I guess that is what happens when you don't do push ups for nearly a year.

I am committed to getting back into shape. Now that it has been six weeks, I feel well enough to exercise. I want to be able to do fun things like rock climb and snowboard. Another thing I really want to do is run a marathon. This has always been a goal of mine, but I have never found the time to do it. Well, it is now or never. 26 miles seems daunting right now when I can barely jog 1 mile, but the marathon isn't until September 19, 2009. Here is the training schedule I'm going to follow. Notice it doesn't start until January, so I have until then to build my current status (a slooow 1 mile) up to 3 or 4 miles. When I look at this schedule it doesn't seem so impossible. My sister-in-law Rachel and my mom are going to do this with me. Let me know if you are interested, too.

99 balloons

2008-10-30T14:25:00.007-06:00

I saw this video on Oprah and it really touched me. This is a tribute video made by a father to his son who died of a genetic condition. Yeah, it made me cry, but more importantly it made me think. I am blessed with a beautiful, healthy little boy and this video has encouraged me to appreciate every moment of his precious life. Every moment. I now value waking up in the middle of the night to feed him, changing his messy diapers, and rocking him when he is upset. All are opportunities for me to be with him and love him.

Parker is 4 weeks old today! He has grown so much...seriously. He is a little chub. I love him so much and I hope that he can feel that. Here are some pictures I've taken of him lately.

This is Parker at 2 weeks

Parker all bundled up for a walk in the stroller

Parker the Rockstar and his friend Cassidy (who is three months older than him)

Parker's first day at church

Parker and Matt at the ward Halloween party

Parker is "captain adorable"

It is All Worth It

2008-10-13T16:20:00.013-06:00

DISCLAIMER: I write a lot, probably too much. Sorry, I just can't spare the details.

Some of you (especially my pregnant friends) might be interested in hearing how the whole thing happened. Many of you might think that is too much information. Well, whether you are interested or not, here is how Parker was brought into the world.

I had been expecting Parker to arrive any moment after I went to my 37 week appointment. My doctor, Melissa Brown, was impressed with how much progress I was making with dilation and effacement. I MADE her guess when he was going to be born. She hesitated saying, "you never know." But I insisted and she guessed he would be born a week before his due date. I changed that date, mentally, to my new due date (bad idea, unless you like to be disappointed). The truth is that you never really know. All those so-called "signs" that labor is imminent are not really signs of labor at all. They are just signs that you are going to have a baby eventually...which HOPEFULLY, you already know at that point. Dilation, effacement, losing the mucus plug, bloody show, engagement, increased braxton-hicks...all of these happened to me, yet no baby. In fact, I was having braxton-hicks contractions 10 minutes apart for weeks!

So a couple weeks pass and my due date (Sept. 26) comes on goes. I go to my doctors appointment 4 days later on Tuesday, Sept 30. My doctor strips my membranes which is supposed to help induce labor and she sets an induction date for that Thursday, Oct.2 (because my amniotic fluid is measuring low). I start to have some painful contractions that evening. They didn't hurt so much that I couldn't manage them, but they were 4-7 minutes apart and the hurt significantly more than the braxton hicks I had been feeling earlier. Matt (and my mom) insisted we go to the hospital, so around 9:00 pm or so we go...only to be met by severe disappointment. I was still dilated at just a 3. They had me stay until midnight and by then I was so tired and hungry that I didn't want to have the baby that day anymore. I just wanted to sleep. They gave me some morphine and sleep is what I did very, very well that night.

The next day, Wednesday Oct. 1, my contractions slowed down to my disappointment, but on the upside I knew I was going to have him the next day by induction. Then at 4:00 I started having another contraction (like I always had), I went to stand up because it was always more comfortable for me to walk around during my contractions. I stood up, or I should say I tried to stand up and then the pain just hit me like a brick wall and I fell back into my seat. It really, really hurt. I thought it was just a fluke, but then 5 minutes later an equally painful contraction happened. I called Matt. He was just about to leave anyway. By the time he came home it wasn't even 5:00, but I had decided that I needed to go to the hospital. The general advice they give you is that your contractions should be 5 minutes apart, lasting about a minute for at least an hour before you go in, but I had the feeling that this was progressing quickly. Actually, the only feeling I really had at this point was pain, so we went in.

When they check you in they see how dilated you are and then wait an hour to see if you have progressed. When I came in I measured a 4.5, a whole centimeter and a half more than the night before. The nurse left and I started to have even MORE painful contractions that lasted about 2 minutes each...very hard to deal with. I called the nurse in after only a half an hour because of the pain so she checked me again and I was over a 5. She told me I was progressing quickly and she called the doctor on call. The doctor on call was going to break my water and then I would get an epidural, but the nurse told her it would be too late by then and that I should get the epidural first. Interestingly enough, the hospital called me while we were at the hospital to schedule a time for the induction.

I was trying to deal with the pain, but I didn't want to deal with it anymore when I saw tears come into Matt's eyes during my contractions. At that point I wanted the epidural. The anesthesiologist came in and honestly getting the epidural was no big deal. Getting the IV hurt more than the epidural. Instant relief. He gave me a low dose and if I wanted more all I had to do is call in the nurse and she would show me how to press a button to get more pain relief. Afterward, the doctor came in and checked me and I was at a 7! The nurse looked at her and said, "I told you so." I guess she didn't believe the nurse when she said I was dilating fast. Then she broke my water.

I felt really good for a while, and then I started getting a weird sensation of pressure and a little bit of pain. I called the nurse in again and she checked me. Her eyes got really wide and she said I needed to start pushing and that the baby was very engaged. I started pushing and I really liked it at first. It felt like I was doing some intense workout, but because of the epidural I had the energy to do it. In between pushes I was getting to know the nurse and having a pretty good time...for the first hour. The second hour I started to get a little nervous. It didn't seem like I was making much progress. He wasn't fitting very well through my pelvic bones. The pain I was feeling started to increase. The nurse looked at the epidural machine and asked," Have you touched this?" I hadn't. It turned out that it was turned off, so I wasn't getting any of it. She had me press the button for more. I don't know how numb people usually are, but my feet and calves had complete feeling in them. At that point only my lower torso, hips, and upper thighs had any sort of numbness. But the pain was still minimal compared to before.

The last hour of pushing (yes, I pushed for three hours) was miserable. I was exhausted. I kept having horrible thoughts about emergency C-sections (like my mom had with me). But once the baby finally got through the smallest part of my pelvis, he came out pretty quickly. At 12:07 am Oct. 2 he was born. They plopped him on my lap and I got to hold him for a very long time while they stitched me up (which lasted an hour). I was really beat up. I couldn't see. Everything was blurry because my eyes were practically swollen shut. I had several tears, some internal, but it was all worth it.

After I was ready, they moved me into my room. The first time I went in the bathroom and caught a glimpse of me in the mirror, I just about fell over. I didn't even recognize myself. I was so swollen all over my face. I couldn't move very well and am still working on regaining my mobility.

Because of my hard delivery and tearing, when I came home I wasn't even able to walk up the stairs (I have A LOT of stairs), so I had to sleep downstairs on the couch. I still can't carry him up and down the stairs because I need the support of the wall and handrail. My peroneal nerve has been damaged because of all of the hard pushing. That means my leg is partially numb from my knee to my ankle. Hopefully it isn't permanant. Still, it was all worth it.

On the plus side, I was blessed with a healthy baby boy. The pediatrician was amazed at his weight gain. He is getting chubby already. Even though labor and delivery were only 8 hours of my life (8 uncomfortable hours), they brought me one of the greatest joys. It is definitely not something I want to do everyday, but maybe I'll manage to do a couple more times...let's not think about that now. I'll just enjoy my baby in the meantime.

One of Parker's baths

Parker's faux-hawk

Can a mom take too many pictures of her baby?

2008-10-11T10:10:00.010-06:00

Baby Budd is Finally Born

2008-10-03T12:17:00.007-06:00

We thought he would never come, but Parker Samuel Budd was finally born on October 2 at 12:07am, 6 days late after 8 hours of Labor, 3 of which were pushing. Ashley went into labor the day before her scheduled induction. Little Parker was 8 LBS 3 OZ, and 20.5 inches long with lots of dark hair.

My Brother Should Be Famous

2008-09-29T10:04:00.005-06:00

My brother Cameron is 16 years old and a musical genius. Seriously. I remember he would never practice the piano and was thinking about quitting which I was sad about. This was when I was a senior at college. Then I got a phone call from my mom and she mentioned that Cameron was writing a song and he was really proud of it. I thought, "How cute!" I eventually made it home to hear this song and it literally put tears in my eyes. It was not a dinky little song like I thought it would be...it was amazing.

Since that moment Cameron has written dozens of songs and arranged many more. He has what is called perfect pitch which means he knows every tone without comparing it to another. For example, he could tell you that your refrigerator hums a B flat. The music literally moves from his head to his fingers. He doesn't have to think to hard what notes he is playing. His fingers just move. Watching him compose music is really amazing.

Well, Matt and I helped Cameron add a couple of videos to Youtube to help him get famous and share his gift with the world. I think you will be impressed. If you are into the whole youtube thing please subscribe to him, rate his videos, and add comments (I've included the links to youtube). Watch for more to come as well.

This is a Cameron Webb original: Sailing off the Earth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxWrCVyYVUA

This is a Cameron Webb arrangement: Viva la Vida-Coldplay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TewBRtkIok

Utah Rocks: Thoughts on the New US Census

2008-09-23T12:56:00.006-06:00

I've heard a lot of people complain about how they don't like Utah. My first thought is, of course, "then live somewhere else." I don't understand these people. It seems logical to me. I do, on the other hand, understand that they might not like some things about Utah (the weather, the traffic, the huge Mormon majority), but they should give credit where credit is due and admit that Utah is pretty cool when it comes to many things.

I just read an article in the Deseret News about Utah's rankings in the new census. The first thing they mention is how Utah is number one in family size and has the lowest marriage age. They contribute this to the LDS emphasis on family and, to a smaller extent, immigrants. "No Surprise Here" is the title of the article and that is how I felt as well. I personally don't want a huge family. I was planning on 4 kids. Now that I'm nine months pregnant, I have downgraded my dream family to 3 kids. I think that one's family size is up to them. I don't care if couples decide on zero or twelve kids (as long as they take care of them!) It really is the other statistics that caught my attention.

Utah is ranked 43rd in percent of people below poverty level. That is pretty darn good, if you ask me.

Utah is ranked 45th in percent of households receiving cash public assistance. Not Bad!

Utah is ranked 10th in percent of housing units that are owner occupied. We all know that owning is, like, a kagillion times better than renting.

Utah is ranked 13th for median household income. Not the highest, but still competitive.

Utah has the LOWEST percentage of children under age 6 with all parents in the work force. This is an important factor in understanding the causation of many of these rankings.

Utah is ranked 6th in percent of people age 25 and older who completed high school. Pretty good in a state where funding education always seems to be a problem.

Utah is ranked 18th in percent of people age 25 and older who received a bachelor's degree. This really isn't that high of a ranking, but I thought it notable.

So why is Utah so awesome? I'll be the first to tell you that correlation doesn't necessarily mean causation, but it stands to reason that many of these great ranking are related to Utah's emphasis on family. As a former educator, I clearly saw the impact that involved parents had on their child's education. Kids need a support system to help them succeed. I believe that all the other ranking are, at least in part, a result of an educated population with a strong emphasis on families.

The government spends A LOT of money on welfare (among other things). I have always thought that the best way to decrease the amount of welfare is improve education. There will always be a need to help those who can not provide for themselves, but unfortunately this is not the case for FAR TOO MANY people on welfare. If only they could learn responsibility, marketable skills, work ethic...things that should be taught in the public school system.

I could go on and on and on with commentary on this or that, but I'm just going to force myself to stop here with my conclusion.

Whether or not you are LDS, you would have to be blind not to see the benefit on society of having strong families. Functional families create strong individuals. Strong individuals create an educated, self-sufficient society...that is something we should all be working towards.

New Baby Picture

2008-09-18T08:23:00.006-06:00

I know I already made one picture of our baby using pictures of matt and me, but it was too much fun. So, here's another!

It is crazy to think that there is a baby inside of me and that he is going to be born (probably) in the next week! Wow! I'm super excited! I feel like right now I'm just waiting (not so) patiently for that moment to arrive. I can't focus on anything else.

What do you think about my little new baby Baby Budd?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?